Being with Painful Feelings (Episode #73)

The Way Out Is In

Welcome to episode 73 of The Way Out Is In: The Zen Art of Living, a podcast series mirroring Zen Master Thich Nhat Hanh’s deep teachings of Buddhist philosophy: a simple yet profound methodology for dealing with our suffering, and for creating more happiness and joy in our lives.

Nobody escapes pain, but, for most people, knowing how to handle it remains a mystery. That’s why, in this installment, Zen Buddhist monk Brother Phap Huu and leadership coach/journalist Jo Confino discuss ways to cope with painful feelings, both individually and collectively. The two presenters talk about the Buddhist practices of being with pain, and how to handle it, be aware of it, and understand it, in order to start transforming it.

The conversation touches upon personal stories of transformation, including snippets from Thich Nhat Hanh’s life; the general fear of being with our suffering; the ability to touch joy in daily life; deep happiness; accessing the wisdom in ourselves; eight practical stages for dealing with our pain, based on Buddhist practices; and much more.
The episode ends with a short meditation guided by Brother Phap Huu.

---

Co-produced by the Plum Village App:
https://plumvillage.app/

And Global Optimism:
https://globaloptimism.com/

With support from the Thich Nhat Hanh Foundation:
https://thichnhathanhfoundation.org/

---

List of resources

Interbeing
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Interbeing

‘The Four Dharma Seals of Plum Village’
https://plumvillage.org/articles/the-four-dharma-seals-of-plum-village

Sister True Dedication
https://plumvillage.org/people/dharma-teachers/sister-hien-nghiem
The Way Out Is In: ‘The Three Doors of Liberation (Episode #18)’ https://plumvillage.org/podcast/the-three-doors-of-liberation-episode-18

The Way Out Is In: The Heart of Meditation – Part One (Episode #61)’
https://plumvillage.org/podcast/the-heart-of-meditation-part-one-episode-61

The Way Out Is In: ‘The Heart of Meditation – Part Two (Episode #62)’
https://plumvillage.org/podcast/the-heart-of-meditation-part-two-episode-62

51 Mental Formations
https://plumvillage.org/transcriptions/51-mental-formation

‘Texts for the Practice of “Touching the Earth”’
https://plumvillage.org/texts-for-the-practice-of-touching-the-earth

---

Quotes

“I think pain is a universal thread that connects all of us human beings, because it is inevitable that each and every one of us experience pain, whether it is physical or emotional. And part of the Buddha’s journey of spiritual investigation was how he could touch deep freedom and deep awakening.”

“When we are taking care of our happiness, we are also taking care of our pain and our suffering. And these emotions coexist. They are like light and darkness, up and down; like all opposites. These two fundamental elements of life are very important ingredient of spirituality.”

“If we know how to look deeply into suffering, we will know how to suffer.”

“In kindness there’s patience.”

“Understanding pain and suffering is a very important element of spiritual growth.”

“Someone like Thay, who experienced war, would never take a peaceful day for granted. And that became a root of his insight; he went through so much suffering, so much despair, so much killing, that the peace he was able to experience in 24 hours was the greatest gift.”

“When we can touch our own pain and our own suffering, that is already mindfulness: just knowing that we suffer.”

“The path is to be with our suffering in order to generate happiness.”

“As a practitioner, we have to remember to nourish an important element in our daily life: the ability to experience joy in the present moment. And then recognize that happiness in the present moment.”

“You are more than your emotions.”

“Don’t think about your breath; feel your breath. Don’t think about your body; feel your body.”

“Each moment is creating a new past. Each moment is creating a new future.”