Ep #106 Minutes of Happiness - Fear of Being Judged

The Happiness Project

Hello, welcome to another the episode on THP podcast. I hope you’ll are doing well and are excited to surround yourself with warmth and comfort by your loved ones. There’s no better time than now to let go off anything that is holding back your progress in life. And one of the things that pulls people back for an entire lifetime is ‘what others think about you’

Deep inside of us, along with our need to be liked, we also have a need to be authentic, to think and live in our own unique way. Nature made us this way so that we could think critically and develop creative solutions rather than rushing headlong over a cliff with the rest of the herd. If we all thought alike the human race would have died out long ago.

As Bertrand Russell wrote, "Do not fear to be eccentric in opinion, for every opinion now accepted was once eccentric." We thrive when we get along with others, and think and act independently at the same time. If you aren't doing both, you're out of balance, and your psyche will complain about it with either depression ("No one likes me.") or anxiety ("I have to get them to like me"). These are often warning signs, and if not heeded, things can get really bad. That's why it's dangerous to worry too much what others think about you.

The bottom line is we truly have this one life and life is short. Do you really want to spend even a few precious moments of that time worrying what other people think? To live a life where others tell you what you want? Or should you decide for yourself who we are and what you want and how you plan to go out and get it? You must make a conscious effort to let go what other people think. It's a skill that needs to be practiced, like meditating. But once you truly understand how to let go, you will see the world as entirely different. People will love you, people will hate you, and none of it will have anything to do with you. Make your choices and live by those decisions, taking full responsibility for what you do and how you do it. When you do, you'll gain the self-esteem you need and the power to give yourself what you want, without blaming anyone for your mistakes.

And I know how much resilience it requires for you to pull yourself out of this ‘rut’ and taking back control of how you want to feel. I have spent a decent amount of time thinking about what other people think about me and have sort of done things that would make others happy or actions that would allow me to fit in or simply for external validation. But as and how time went by, my interest in spirituality expanded, my support system kept getting stronger, I started breaking unhealthy patterns and slowly tried adapting a value system that was free from conditions, other people’s opinions and judgements, free from societal pressures and absolutely filled with things that I truly believe – I am still working on it, but I do see myself living an authentic life that simply makes my MYSELF. And I absolutely love that! And something that also helped me along the way were some words of wisdom from my nani (my grandmother) -she said, ‘you know how when you mix gold with any metal – the purity of gold always remains the same’; it’s the same with humans too – wherever you go, whatever you do – if you know you’ve pure intentions – the purity of the person that you are will never diminish. Even though sometimes having pure intentions may not lead to positive consequences (always) – you’ll not be guilt tripped into believing something that is not true. And that stayed with me forever! And that’s what is helping me get through life situations in a very thoughtful way. So next time, you feel you’re being judged – reflect back on your intentions and allow them to guide you!

I hope you go through this week tuning in with your intentions and let your intentions be a guiding force for the entire week. Until then take care and stay well!