Forgive it Forward – Practicing Social Intelligence (Mt 18:21-35)

Spiritual Advantage with Sam Stone

One of my psychology professors had an impressive skill in reading people. She could look at your face and determine what’s happening inside you. You might smile, but she knew you had hidden anger and bitterness. You might be funny, but she knew you had depression.

If you have seen the TV show “Lie To Me,” you know what I mean. She could read your mind through a twitch on your face and a twinkle in your eyes. You cannot lie to her. She also could ask you to draw a picture and interpret the state of your mind by looking at the picture you draw. She told me it took her over a decade of training to develop those skills.

Can you imagine talking to someone who can read your mind? It’s like standing naked in front of her. As you may guess, one day, during the class, she told me what I was struggling deep inside. I didn’t know I had that problem until she revealed it. The healing process began from there on.

Over the years, I have discovered that many people unknowingly carry a heavy burden in their hearts. Two of those heaviest burdens are guilt and grudges. It’s like carrying a sack of rotten potatoes wherever you go. Even though you don’t notice it, others can.

Let me tell you a story about the rotten potatoes.

One day, a sage gave his disciple an empty sack and a basket of potatoes and asked him to carve the names of the people he was angry with on each potato. He said,

“Think of all the people who have offended you, especially those you cannot forgive. Take one potato to represent each of them, carve their name on it, and put it in the sack.”

The disciple came up with a few names, and soon after, his sack was heavy with potatoes.

“Carry the sack with you wherever you go for seven days,” said the sage. “Then we shall meet again.”

At first, the disciple thought it was not a big deal. After some time, however, it became more of a burden. It seemed to require more effort as time passed, even though its weight remained the same.

After a few days, the sack began to smell; the carved potatoes gave off a ripe odor. Not only were they increasingly inconvenient to carry around, they were also becoming rather unpleasant.

He noticed he began to get used to the smell, but other people avoided him because he stunk.

Finally, the week was over, and the disciple went to the sage.

“Any thoughts about all this?” the sage asked.

“Yes, Sir,” the disciple replied. “When we are unable to forgive others, we carry negative feelings with us everywhere, much like these potatoes. That negativity becomes a burden to us and, after a while, it festers.”

“Yes, that is exactly what happens when you hold a grudge. So, how can you lighten the load?”

“I must strive to forgive.”

“Forgiving someone is the equivalent of removing the corresponding potato from the sack. How many of your transgressors are you able to forgive?”

“I’ve thought about it quite a bit,” the disciple said. “It required much effort, but I have decided to forgive all of them.”

(End of story.)

Forgiveness is easier said than done. Sometimes, we don’t even realize the grudges we are keeping, especially after years of carrying it on our backs. We might get used to it, but people around us can smell it, especially someone like my professor with decades of training.

We live in a fallen world and must deal with fallen people. You can never live a happy life if you don’t know how to forgive. If you want to travel light in your life journey, you must learn to keep the potatoes from weighing you down.

Jesus teaches his disciples to travel light by teaching them how to remove their grudges from their backs. Forgiveness is not easy, especially when someone hurt you deeply and left a permanent scar, but Jesus has taught us a secret to forgive everyone.

Forgiveness is a feature of social intelligence. It lightens the weight of your heart and allows you to be socially savvy—win friends and influence people. Most importantly, God promises to answer your prayers and accompany you when you maintain harmony with others.

There is a mystery about forgiveness. So, today, we will learn this vital teaching of Jesus Christ from this week’s scripture lesson. Let’s begin!