Erotic Blueprints and the Map to Intimacy with Jessica Fern

The Gently Used Human with Dr. Scott Lyons

In a world where traditional relationship structures are being challenged and redefined, the concept of polyamory has emerged as a topic of both curiosity and controversy. In this episode, Dr Scott delves into the intricacies of this multifaceted approach to love and intimacy with Jessica Fern, a psychotherapist, coach, and author of "Polysecure: Attachment, Trauma, and Non-Monogamy."

Jessica's expertise lies in guiding individuals, couples, and those in multiple-partner relationships to transcend the limitations of reactive patterns, cultural conditioning, insecure attachment styles, and past traumas. Through her work, she invites us to explore new possibilities in life and love, challenging the conventional norms that have long governed our understanding of relationships.

Dr Scott and Jessica unpack the definition of polyamory and its place within the broader umbrella of consensual non-monogamy. They’ll confront the misconceptions and taboos surrounding this lifestyle, such as the belief that it is rooted in promiscuity or an inability to commit. Together they delve into the concept of erotic blueprints, a framework for understanding our unique desires and needs within the realm of intimacy. Jessica will guide us through the different styles of erotic blueprints, from energetic to kinky, and how understanding our own blueprint can enhance our connections and sexual satisfaction.

Listen in as they embark on this thought-provoking journey, challenging societal norms and embracing the diversity of human connection. Whether you're curious about polyamory, seeking to deepen your understanding of intimacy, or simply open to exploring new perspectives, this episode promises to be an enlightening and transformative experience.

Topics We Break Down:

• Understanding Polyamory and Ethical Nonmonogamy: Definitions and different styles of consensual nonmonogamy.
• Evolution of polyamory terminology and common misconceptions surrounding ethical nonmonogamy.
• Guidelines for setting up rules and agreements in polyamorous relationships, and recommendations for couples considering polyamory.
• Differentiating between romantic, emotional, and intimacy needs, and understanding how emotional needs drive relational needs.
• Signs of healthy monogamous and non-monogamous relationships, including the significance of self-care.
• Recognizing the difference between avoidance and attachment in relationships, and the concept of an erotic blueprint.
• Navigating parenting within polyamorous relationships and why relationship success should not be defined by longevity.