28. Crowdsourcing Decisions; Do I Need to Hate My Therapist?

Call the Psychiatrists

In the first question a listener is struggling with her boyfriend's need to crowdsource information before making any decisions--from sharing personal details of their relationship with his family to checking Reddit to find the best pasta sauce.

We start by discussing the lack of boundaries in the family. At 09:45 we start offering some advice on how to navigate the dilemma (it gets better the more you listen). At 14:19 we pivot to the demand that everything is rated on a 5 star scale. By 16:43 we move on to the work of psychologist Barry Schwartz and his popular book The Paradox of Choice. We discuss optimizers and satisficers as a way to try to understand the boyfriend.

The second question (at 25 minutes) is from someone trying to understand an idea he came across: that a patient must first view their therapist in a positive light but eventually must learn to hate them.

We try to unpack this lazy quotation using Dr. Mahler's theories on separation and individuation. The listener wonders about his own therapy which we discuss starting at 33:16 and at 36:47 Abby discusses her own "rageful hate" towards her therapist and how powerful it was to resolve it.

Feedback from the last episode is at 24:04

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Barry Schwartz's TED talk about his book The Paradox of Choice: https://www.ted.com/talks/barry_schwartz_the_paradox_of_choice