#298 Raise Loving Siblings and Stop the Fighting

Power Your Parenting: Moms With Teens

Are you exhausted from constant sibling fighting in your household? Do you dream of raising siblings who not just get along but are also genuine friends?

This episode of Power Your Parenting: Moms of Teens dives deep into the world of sibling dynamics with Dr. Jonathan Caspi, a renowned expert on sibling relationships and author of Raising Loving Siblings: How to Stop the Fighting and Help Your Kids Connect. With practical insights and relatable anecdotes, this conversation explores why sibling fights happen, the role parents play in fueling or diffusing these conflicts, and actionable steps to foster sibling closeness.

Jonathan Caspi, PhD, MSW, is Professor of Family Science & Human Development at Montclair State University in Montclair, NJ. Dr. Caspi is an internationally recognized sibling expert. In addition to research, writing and teaching about families and siblings, he has been a family therapist for over 30 years, with a private practice in NJ. Dr. Caspi is also frequently tapped as a media consultant for family-related matters.

Parents often "wing it" when addressing sibling rivalry, stepping in only when fights escalate, inadvertently giving more attention to negative behaviors. Dr. Caspi emphasizes the importance of catching siblings in their good moments, praising cooperation and kindness to reinforce positive dynamics. He shares how favoritism and comparisons, even when unintentional, can fuel resentment, and why creating clear family rules and proactively addressing high-stress moments like car rides or post-school hours can make a significant difference. The episode also highlights the importance of addressing deeper issues, such as sibling perceptions of favoritism or emotional triggers, through open, validating conversations.

Three key takeaways: First, actively recognize and praise siblings when they get along to encourage more of those moments. Second, create structured family rules and plan ahead for high-stress situations to reduce conflict and teach problem-solving skills. Lastly, validate your children’s feelings about favoritism or comparisons without dismissing them, and focus on identifying each child’s unique strengths to foster mutual respect. This episode reminds moms that sibling harmony is a journey—and that it starts with thoughtful, consistent parenting.

Learn more at siblingexpert.com

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