86. Breaking free from worry loops

PLAYING-IT-SAFE

Picture this scenario: you encounter an ambiguous and uncertain situation, and then, of course, you quickly try to solve it. You anticipate all types of scenarios and try to prepare for each one of them, without realizing you are worrying and consumed with anxiety.

Worry is primarily a thought-based process, and that’s what makes it tricky. Unpacking worry thoughts and distinguishing the unhelpful from the helpful ones are crucial.

We all worry from time to time, that’s unavoidable. But playing-it-safe by worrying all the time takes a hefty toll on your well-being, happiness, and relationships.

In this episode, I interview Dr. Chad Lejeune, Ph.D.

We discussed the subtleties of worrying, what keeps worry cycles, and the importance of developing a new relationship with your mind. In the second part of the interview, I shared with Chad an unexpected situation I encountered when traveling, and we used that as an opportunity to discuss micro-skills to manage uncertainty, what-if thoughts, and reassurance-seeking and information-seeking behaviors.

Key Takeaways

• How to develop a new relationship with thinking
• How to distinguish effective problem-solving from ineffective one
• Understanding fear and anxiety
• Defining worry and its impact
• The role of thoughts in worry
• Distinguishing between productive and nonproductive worry
• The consequences of worry
• Addressing beliefs about worry
• Changing our relationship with our thoughts
• Dealing with unexpected situations
• Embracing uncertainty and ambiguity
• The anxious brain and uncertainty
• Productive thoughts and problem-solving
• The power of narratives and storytelling
• The distinction between problem-solving and creating narratives
• The danger of excessive information-seeking
• The power of accepting uncertainty
• The importance of learning from the past

Show notes with time stamps

00:27 Understanding Fear and Anxiety

01:26 Defining Worry and Its Impact

02:27 Distinguishing Between Worry and Problem-Solving

05:50 The Consequences of Worry

06:43 Addressing Beliefs About Worry

11:27 Changing Our Relationship with Our Thoughts

17:41 Practical Example: Dealing with Unexpected Situations

22:59 The Power of Productive Thoughts

23:56 The Mind's Narratives and Their Impact

25:46 The Distinction Between Problem Solving and Worrying

28:15 The Power of Acceptance and Living in the Present

28:20 The Pitfalls of Excessive Information Seeking

29:12 The Role of Google in Reassurance Seeking

32:29 The Importance of Embracing Uncertainty

(*) Show notes and resources of this episode

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(*) Figure out your playing-it-safe profile in 5 minutes and identify the key thinking strategies that keep you living in your head

(*) Learn ACT skills for anxious achievers by taking Dr. Z. ACT courses

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