160: I Don't Need You (But I Want You), and Mindful Loving

Get Your Marriage On! with Dan Purcell

Oftentimes in our quest to have a deeper, more intimate marriage, it's really not a question of whether you want to be loved or loved more. It's really a question of a capacity to love or be loved more. In my work with couples and individuals, helping them grow intimately in their marriages, one of the very first things I teach them is how to be more mindful. Most of us cruise through the day on autopilot, not quite aware of the thoughts that go through our head.

However, when we develop the skill of slowing down and observing our thoughts, we can then shape our thinking to higher levels. In the past, as a Christian, I thought that the whole mindfulness and meditation thing was for Zen Buddhists, but the more I dive into my own beliefs, I see mindfulness built right into my religious practices because what is prayer, the Sabbath, time in God's word, but an invitation for stillness and mindfulness.

Higher levels of thinking are required in order to grow one's capacity to love and be loved. And this has nothing to do with IQ. It has everything to do with learning how to be more present and honest with your thoughts.

That's why I'm so excited about my guest today. His name is Dr. Ty Mansfield. Ty is a licensed marriage and family therapist, and a professor of marriage and family life at Brigham Young University. I first came across Ty's work when I read his book on mindfulness and it changed the way I approached my life in so many aspects.

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COUPLES RETREAT: I am so excited to announce that registration is now open for our next couples retreat March 14-17, 2024 in beautiful, sunny St. George, Utah, which is also my hometown. This retreat is ideal for couples that want to take the intimacy in their marriage to the next level. Watch some testimonials here!

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COACHING: Register any time for our coaching program, Next Level, for coaching resources, and a great community.

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WORKSHOP: Join us for our next workshop all about slow sex on November 22! And remember that all of our guides and workshops are 20% off this month!