Life Changes, Let It: Bill Hayes

Challenge Your Thinking with Dr. Linda Tucker

Bill Hayes will be the first to tell you that when you lose someone dear to you, you learn what it’s like to live with a void. You become familiar with the emptiness of your bed, and you will likely find yourself aching to tell the one you lost something, anything about your day, about your life. No matter how long they’ve been gone, their memory is most often pervasive---their life is still an intimate part of yours. You will probably even find yourself hoping for a sign, even look for some sign that they’re still with you. So how do you go on living when someone you love is no longer physically there to share it with and make life more meaningful? My guest, Bill Hayes, knows the sting of loss very personally. He has lost two partners throughout his life, and as a writer and photographer, he prolifically shares his experience in a way that will likely help others feel less alone in the world. He’s written four books, and is a frequent contributor to the New York Times. He also happens to struggle with insomnia, which he has described in his recent memoir, Insomniac City. Bestselling author Anne Lamott praised Bill’s work as “A beautifully written once-in-a-lifetime book, about love, about life, soul, and the wonderful loving genius Oliver Sacks, and New York, and laughter and all of creation.” As you’ll soon come to discover in our conversation, Bill has a gift for preserving and magnifying the tender details of life in a way that will hopefully make you want to live your own to the fullest, and he possesses a wisdom I’m convinced can only be found in someone who has had to grapple with moving forward in the face of devastating loss.