The Importance of Staying Connected During COVID-19

Aging In Full Bloom

Our topic today is going to be focused on the importance of staying connected during COVID-19. And I'm really speaking more to people who have family members in long-term care settings like nursing homes or assisted living. But I think there's value here for all of us. Even if you are not in one of those settings or you don't have a family member or a loved one in one of those settings.

Here in Ohio, as in most states, visitation has been prohibited in nursing homes. Now, our Governor just signed a new law, which is going to take effect soon, that will allow visitation, outdoor visitation for assisted living communities. But the nursing homes on that front, they're still saying no to visitation. And what we know as health care providers is that there is a cost associated with this stance. A cost to our residents.

And I understand, we all understand why it has to be done. Because we're trying to protect a very vulnerable population. But we also believe that quality of life matters and that we have to figure out some ways to combat this isolation, this feeling of loneliness, this fear, everything that our seniors are dealing with in these settings.

So long story short, staying connected is important. It matters. It goes directly to health, emotional, mental, and physical and we gotta do something. We've got to do better.

So I've got some ideas that I want to share with you about what exactly we can do.

The first thing is I think it makes sense to establish a schedule to stay connected. Checking in at a scheduled time is helpful to both your loved one and the staff at these nursing homes or assisted living. Your loved one will be reassured, knowing you are committed to a regularly scheduled contact. And the staff will appreciate the opportunity to plan ahead to offer assistance if it's needed.

So schedule a time to make a phone call or a visit or send an email or do some Facetime, Zoom, Skype, whatever it is, and then do it every single week or two times a week or however often you schedule the contact.

Also schedule a reoccurring weekly care conference if you feel that it's needed and you might be reassured by that, even if you feel everybody's doing everything right. I think the more contact that you have, the more communication that you have, the better everyone's going to feel about what's going on. Care conferences provide families and staff an opportunity to discuss needs, goals, ideas about how to best meet the needs of residents. And it gives everybody a voice in the process. So I think in addition to this contact that you're going to schedule with your loved one, it makes sense to schedule a weekly care conference with the staff members, which your loved one may or may not be involved with it, your choice. It also depends on the situation. If you're dealing with a loved one with dementia, it probably wouldn't make any sense for your loved one to be included. But there are other situations where it certainly would.

Plan to visit, even if it's just what we are now calling "window visits." Who knew "window visits" were going to be a thing that would ever make any sense to us. We've witnessed firsthand the importance of visitation despite physical barriers, even if it's just seeing your loved ones. It's kind of reminiscent of what you expect when people are visiting someone in prison. Right? But that's not what's happening. No one's in prison. And we know that it is so very important to have a presence, even if you've got barriers in place.

We've seen people celebrate birthdays through a window visit. We've seen family reunions. They bring the family reunion to the nursing home. We've got pictures of all this. And we're not special. Every nursing home in the country has the same type of thing going on. It's very important to be present. It's more important now than it has been previously because they don't get the social engagement that they're used to. People aren't coming and going. There isn't as much of an opportunity for interaction. And it makes for a very long, lonely day.

Care packages. That's another thing that makes a big difference. You might be surprised at how much a thoughtful care package will mean to your loved one. Packages can include photos, handwritten notes, snacks, activity books. We've seen a lot of crossword puzzles and that sort of thing. Books, magazines, personal items, whatever it is. Put a thoughtful care package together and take it to your loved ones. Surprise them. You probably won't be able to hand-deliver it. You're going to drop it off and they're going to screen it and sanitize it and all of that. But it'll find its way to the person that you dropped it off for. And believe me, it will make their day.

Encourage family and friends to act as pen pals. So I know firsthand how important this is. My son is 22, getting ready to turn 23. We signed up to be pen pals to a couple of residents at one of our nursing homes in Hopedale, Ohio. My son is on his fourth or fifth correspondence. I mean, his pen pal has fallen in love with him. And I'm ashamed to say I haven't written mine back yet. He got a letter today, in fact.

And he wrote her a poem the last time because he discovered that she loved horses when she was growing up. And he's a writer and she got a big kick out of that. And so she's taking comfort in communicating with someone who was a total stranger five or six weeks ago. But now they're starting to get to know each other. She's even giving him advice. And it's good advice, mind you, about what he should do, what his next move should be in school, and encouraging him to stay focused on his studies. And, you know, sharing some examples with him of mistakes that she made.

And you know what? He's listening. He's taking the advice of this woman that he's never even met. Snail mail is still a thing. I know you thought it wasn't, but it is. And if you don't have the time to do this yourself and list some family members or friends and encourage them to act as pen pals. My son is obviously a much better pen pal than I have turned out to be. But I promise I will work on making amends. I wrote her and she wrote me back and that's where it stopped. Whereas, you know, he has had multiple communications.

So I know that these suggestions don't solve the problem, but they help. They will be helpful if you just pick one and act on it. You probably should do them more because we know that our residents and patients in nursing homes, especially here in Ohio, don't know when this is going to end. And it's already been in place for well over two months. I mean, I think we're on week 10. Ten weeks. Think about that.

Ten weeks without any visitors, without getting be able to see the people that you normally see. And there really is something special about the human touch. In the meantime, we do the best we can because that's all we can do. So do what you can. And that includes using technology. That includes calling ahead. That includes getting creative and being present in the moment.

As always, thank you for listening. May the road rise to meet you, may the wind be forever at your back.

Email me, Lisa Stockdale, anytime at [e-mail] - Aging in Full Bloom with Lisa Stockdale is sponsored by Capital Health Care Network, an Ohio-based, family-owned and operated company, providing solutions that help seniors age on their own terms. Those solutions include home care, senior living, nursing home and rehab care, and hospice. Learn more at Capital Health Care Network. Follow the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, iTunes, Stitcher, or your favorite podcast player. Android user? http://www.subscribeonandroid.com

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