This Used To Be The Place is a fiction podcast series exploring how New York City’s past collides with its present. Season One centers around Anna who, after emerging from her apartment for the first time in three days, finds a notebook with an intriguing list of names. Each episode, she tracks down one person on the list to try to determine how they’re all connected. Coming up with creative excuses, lies, and even schemes verging on criminal, Anna manages to insert herself into their lives ...
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My mission with this Podcast/YouTube show is to help you access real everyday people just like you and I who are creating real success for themselves and others. Over the course of a 30-minute interview, we will pull back the curtain to discover exactly who they are and how they're achieving at such a high level. Jim Rohn is famously quoted saying " You are the average of the 5 people who you spend the most time with" and as you listen in it is my sincere hope to elevate that average. Enjoy ...
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Doing It Together: Making Sense of Low Libido, Sex, and Intimacy in Marriage.
Janna Denton-Howes: Marriage Coach | Sex Educator | Low Libido Expert
Doing It Together is about empowering women and men to heal from cultural messages so that they can discover true pleasure and connection in their sexual relationship and marriage. This podcast addresses the common dynamic in a heterosexual relationship in which the wife doesn’t want and enjoy sex and the husband does. Too often, the focus is placed on labels like “low libido” and “low sex drive” without addressing the root issues including physical and emotional safety, shame, porn use, uni ...
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How Men Can Rethink Their Roles To Support Gender Equality - with author Michael Kaufman | Ep. 111
54:48
Janna chats with Michael Kaufman, the author of The Time Has Come: Why Men Must Join the Gender Equality Revolution. Michael, a renowned advisor, activist, and keynote speaker, shares his insights on how traditional male roles in the bedroom and beyond often don’t benefit women. They dive into why it's crucial for men to confront their own privileg…
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Janna speaks with Ericka about the use of alcohol and how it can become a crutch in intimate situations. Ericka started drinking in high school, initially finding that alcohol eased her anxiety and helped her feel more relaxed before sexual encounters. However, this pattern led to risky situations and a troubling reliance on alcohol to numb out her…
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We are rebroadcasting one of Janna's favorite episodes: her fascinating conversation with Dr. Tina Schermer Seller, a licensed therapist who specializes in sex and gender issues. Dr. Schermer Seller is the author of one of Janna's favorite and most recommended books, Sex, God, & the Conservative Church – Erasing Shame from Sexual Intimacy. In this …
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REAIR: How to Trust Your Partner Again After Cheating and Porn Addiction - with betrayal trauma expert Michelle Mays | Ep. 108
54:32
We are rebroadcasting our very popular episode with betrayal trauma expert Michelle Mays. Partner betrayal is SO complex compared to other forms of trauma. The lying, manipulation, scapegoating and gaslighting create a cycle of shame of wanting to simultaneously connect and disconnect from a cheating partner. Michelle shares her own betrayal story …
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REAIR: Understanding Pain During Sexual Intercourse - with Pelvic Floor Expert Mandy Röscher | Ep. 107
51:47
We're re-airing one of our most popular episodes (Ep. 27) with Mandy Röscher, a Pelvic Health Physiotherapist based in Brisbane, Australia who specializes in chronic pelvic pain conditions. Painful experiences in the bedroom are unfortunately extremely common for women. Mandy share her extensive knowledge and training with us to shed some light on …
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How to Reverse Pelvic Organ Prolapse Naturally - with guest expert Jennie Delreeve | Ep. 106
50:22
For 24 years, Jennie Delreeve has been a beacon of hope for women overcoming trauma and reversing pelvic organ prolapse naturally, helping them reclaim their active lifestyles. Jennie’s journey began with her own experience of prolapse, which plunged her into a cycle of shame and fear. She soon discovered that the mental tension she carried was sig…
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Stacey, a 42-year-old physical therapist, described her sex life as feeling like she was on autopilot. Her experiences were neither particularly good nor bad but rather monotonous and formulaic. She sensed there was something more to discover. To her shock and surprise, she had no idea how much she had to learn until she met Janna. Stacey shares wh…
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In this special episode, Janna reunites with Justin and Sandra, a couple who have each appeared on the podcast separately before (Justin in Episode 82 and Sandra in Episode 74). Together, they tackle some of the most frequently asked questions from Janna’s community, such as: How do you cultivate emotional safety and connection in your relationship…
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Why Having Kids Complicates Your Sex Life and What to Do About It - with Amanda | Ep. 103
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Amanda, 35, has always enjoyed sex. She explored with confidence from an early age and used the term "great sex" to describe her intimate life with her husband. But everything changed when they had kids. As a mother of four, Amanda found that sex transformed from fun and fulfilling into a vicious cycle of guilt, pressure, rejection, and shame. With…
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Celeste truly felt like she found her soul mate when she married her husband. She loved him deeply and could be her authentic self in their marriage...except during sex. She couldn’t understand how she could love someone so much yet dislike the sexual experience so intensely. She could never find the right words to express her feelings and would of…
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At 51, Heather is finally discovering what truly brings her pleasure in sexual experiences by asking herself, “What do I need?” Although she was once a curious and precocious sexual being, her desire diminished during marriage when sex became an expectation and duty. The traditional formula of what sex should be didn't work for her and depleted her…
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It's our 100th episode! To celebrate, I'm announcing a big change: a name change. As I've evolved over the years and learned from the couples I've served, so has my program. After adding an entire men's coaching and education program to Wanting It More, I realized the name needed to reflect a broader perspective. I was no longer exclusively speakin…
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Breaking Free from the "Good Girl" to "Good Wife" Expectation - with Crystal | Ep. 99
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Crystal is a self-defined good girl. Since childhood, she was expected to, and praised for, doing as she was told and not rocking the boat. While this behavior was effective in her formative years, her passive nature had consequences on multiple levels in her 25-year marriage, including in the bedroom. Crystal shares her struggle with speaking up f…
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Tyler and his wife struggled with intimacy throughout their 11 years of marriage. After meeting at 16 and waiting until marriage four years later, they both expected that the sexual experience would bring joy and fun to their lives, but it did not. His wife was plagued by pain, and after having two children, the exhaustion and stress of their lives…
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Emma vividly remembers losing her libido during her honeymoon. She and her husband had waited until marriage to have intercourse for the first time, and both were eagerly anticipating it. Initially, the experience was wonderful, but soon her desire vanished and never returned. For years, she tried everything she could think of to "fix" herself. She…
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Where Did My Libido Go? Overcoming Medical Hurdles & Misguided Advice - with Samantha | Ep. 96
48:53
At 56, Samantha felt like her libido was lost without a map. She had faced medical issues, including adenomyosis and a full hysterectomy, but she knew her diminished desire went deeper than just these physical challenges. Intimacy with her husband had once been enjoyable, but her desire had gradually faded away without explanation. The advice from …
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The Dual Lives of Men: Investigating the Compartmentalization of Porn Use - with Andreas | Ep. 95
32:27
How and why do men separate the effects of their pornography use from their marriage? Andreas and Janna extensively discuss the rapid development of his addictive use of adult entertainment throughout his life, the reasons why he used it, his hundreds of failed attempts to quit, and what finally worked to become sober and save his marriage. Andreas…
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Colin grew up with two therapist parents, one of whom was a sex therapist. He learned a lot about emotions, sex, safety, consent, and talking openly from them. These things were really important to him and shaped his core values as he became a man. His wife also thought he was very caring, gentle, and understanding. But despite this, their sex life…
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Kelly loved her husband of 20 years, but she noticed a change in her feelings toward intimacy over time, and she couldn't understand why. After some of their friends surprised them with divorce news, her husband worried about their own relationship, even though Kelly felt secure. He thought the solution was for him to become more attractive, so he …
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Nancy unfolds her 71-year journey, delving into three significant relationships and the tumultuous experiences within each. Enduring emotional abandonment, financial instability, and a constant sense of being invisible and invalidated, she shares the poignant struggle of feeling like a solitary voice crying out, yet unheard. However, amidst this tu…
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Why are women conditioned to endure pain? Natalie reveals the multitude of reasons she persisted through painful sexual experiences with her husband for 27 years of their marriage. It wasn’t until she discovered Wanting It More that she realized the detrimental extent of what she was subjecting her body and mind to in order to fulfill societal expe…
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David’s wife spent years expressing her dissatisfaction with their sex life, repeatedly sharing her feelings, but David remained skeptical. Despite her efforts, he couldn't accept her perspective. Influenced by adult entertainment and misinformation, he believed he was doing everything right, yet she didn't respond as expected, leading him to concl…
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Overcoming Betrayal Trauma, Addiction, & Lack of Safety in the Bedroom - with Michele | Ep. 89
42:25
Michele bravely opens up about her tumultuous journey through relationships as a woman in her late 50s. She recounts the harrowing experiences of enduring compulsive lying, cheating, porn and sex addiction, abuse, and a pervasive lack of consent. Amidst the darkness, she discovered a beacon of hope in Janna, whose guidance led Michele on a transfor…
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We delve into Raina's journey of rediscovering her desire for sex within her marriage. Despite a healthy upbringing with decent sexual education, positive body image, and safe and secure sexual experiences, Raina found herself losing interest in intimacy with her husband after getting married. After starting a personal journey which she affectionat…
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When Lisa took the Wanting It More program a couple of years ago, she never imagined the valuable lessons she learned to improve her low libido would also come in handy when confronting a medical issue. Lisa talks in detail about her struggles with body image anxiety and gynecological exams that accompanied her journey to the diagnosis of Lichen Sc…
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Kyle’s career in law enforcement defined him as a safe person, dedicating his life to keeping his community and those who live in it safe from harm. Imagine his surprise when he learned the root cause behind his dwindling sex life was because his wife felt unsafe around him. It took him several weeks of coaching with Janna to really understand the …
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We delve into Laura's journey as a 40-year-old mother of three, navigating the intersection of her strong Christian faith and her sexuality. Growing up with little education about sex, Laura found herself prioritizing her partner's desires in the bedroom while neglecting her own. Struggling to balance her intuition with the teachings of her faith c…
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In this podcast episode we meet Nate, a devout Christian and father whose misconceptions about intimacy led to strain in his marriage of 15 years. Raised on media for his sexual education, Nate found himself bewildered by the disparity between his expectations and reality in the bedroom. It wasn't until he and his wife took the Wanting It More prog…
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Thilla shares her journey as a first-generation Canadian, shaped by her Sri Lankan heritage and North American upbringing. Raised in a family where discussions about sex were taboo and dating was reserved for an arranged marriage, she faced immense pressure and conflicting messages from both cultures. These challenges left her grappling with feelin…
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How to Heal from Pornography Addiction - with Justin | Ep. 82
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Join Janna in this conversation filled with healing and hope as we delve into a topic often brushed aside: pornography addiction. She sits down with Justin, who bravely shares his 25-year struggle with excessive porn use and the profound impact it had on his relationships and self-esteem. Despite being told it's 'normal,' Justin's story sheds light…
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In response to countless requests, we're diving into a topic close to many hearts: how to talk to kids about sex. Meet Christina, a recent graduate of the Wanting It More program, who felt compelled to provide her children with the sexual education she never received. Her journey is all about empowering her kids to navigate their body and intimacy …
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James had no reason to believe the ways he showed his wife affection, both sexual and non, was at all off-base. Afterall, he’d faithfully followed the rulebook he’d been taught in locker rooms and adult magazines throughout his 70 years and had success. He loved to look at and touch his wife to express his love and desire and happily assumed that h…
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Is Wanting It More the Right Program to Help My Low Libido? | Ep. 79
1:21:39
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Join Janna and her special guest, Melissa, the WIM Community Coordinator, in this heart-to-heart conversation about the transformative Wanting It More program. Discover who this incredible program is tailor-made for, as they share their personal journeys of dealing with low libido in marriage. Explore the diverse issues the program can address, and…
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William had it in his head that he wasn’t the problem when it came to his wife’s low sexual desire. Afterall, he was doing everything he had been taught to do to satisfy his wife…the only problem was his teachers were other men, our toxic culture, and pornography. William talks to Janna in detail about his experiences growing up as a person of colo…
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Renee opens up to Janna about her six-year marriage to her white husband, exploring the intricacies of their age and ethnicity differences that created a soupy mix of misunderstandings around sexual desire, and her feelings of low libido. Renee, a biracial woman, brings a compassionate and curious lens to her experiences and exploration of black cu…
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From the early stages of her life, Rowen discovered immense fulfillment in the roles of people-pleasing and caretaking for those around her. However, she later realized that the price she paid for these roles was steep—it left her clueless about her own wants and needs. As this pattern extended into her intimate relationship with her husband, her i…
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Kate and Janna unravel the complex dynamics of Kate’s 19-year marriage marked by a common tradition – the recurrent gift of lingerie. Although intended as a sweet gesture, these presents took a toll on Kate, leaving her feeling embarrassed and awkward, along with dwindling her libido and decreasing her desire for sex. As the duo discusses the cultu…
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How to Recover Intimacy in Marriage After Betrayal and Porn Addiction - with Sandra | Ep. 74
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Throughout their 17 year union, the presence of pornography cast a shadow over Sandra and her husband’s relationship, steadily eroding its foundation. Initially, Sandra dismissed it, swayed by the notion that incorporating porn could add a spark to their connection. However, as time unfolded, she witnessed alarming shifts in her husband's behavior—…
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From Confusion to Connection: Empowering Men to Transform Bedroom Dynamics - with Lee | Ep. 73
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When Lee initially encountered Janna's messages about sex on her podcast, he felt victimized. It seemed to him as though blame for bad sex in marriage was being cast solely on men, leading him to internalize it as his personal responsibility. However, with time, he gradually grasped the profound message she aimed to convey – that the distorted noti…
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Elle believed she was grappling with low libido as she reached the age of 50, having been married for 25 years with three children in college. Intimacy in her relationship had become a burdensome task, postponed for weeks at a time until guilt finally compelled her to engage. She considered this ebb in desire as a typical aspect of this stage in li…
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Janna dives into a question she receives often from women looking into her Wanting It More program: "Will this work for me if I don't feel anything during sex?" A powerful misconception exists in our culture that something is wrong with a woman if she doesn't experience intense sensations during intercourse. Many of these women are labeled with “lo…
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Everyone talks about getting more rest, but what does it truly mean to rest? Is it just about lying still and doing nothing? Join Janna and her good friend, Dr. Laura Froyen, as they dive into the world of rest in this delightful conversation. They explore various types of rest – physical, emotional, mental, social, spiritual, sensory, and creative…
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Ellen bravely opens up about her journey with Vaginismus, a condition she discovered on her wedding night when she and her husband tried to have intercourse for the first time. A moment that should have been filled with joy and excitement left Ellen feeling gutted and cheated, particularly because she and her husband had eagerly waited until marria…
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Janna talks to the author of one of her most recommended books, "Sex, God, & the Conservative Church – Erasing Shame from Sexual Intimacy." In this captivating conversation with Dr. Tina Schermer Seller, a licensed therapist specializing in sex and gender issues, they discuss her research of the Christian Conservative church and the rise of abstine…
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The dream of having a family can quickly darken in the face of fertility issues. Sex suddenly becomes a highly monitored business, filled with immense pressure and crushing timelines. 33 year-old Bridget endured three tumultuous years of IVF treatments, invasive medical procedures, severe sickness, and the trauma of pregnancy losses, all while livi…
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When asked, "What do you like to do for pleasure?", Crissie’s response was, "That's a hard question for me.” Many women will relate to Crissie’s do-everything-for-everyone-except-myself mentality. This 40-year-old mother of four spent years consumed with providing for the needs of her young family. Figuring out her own needs, wants and enjoyments w…
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If you've ever dealt with painful or uncomfortable sex, this episode is a must listen. For years, Anna tolerated the trauma of painful intercourse. She describes the pain as feeling like rug burn for hours afterward. She was eventually diagnosed with vaginismus. Although she found pelvic floor therapy helpful, she didn't feel understood by her ther…
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Learning to Trust Your Body & the Sexual Experience Again After Miscarriage - with Alyssa | Ep. 63
57:07
Alyssa is a 31-year-old high school educator who’s been married to her high school sweetheart for 9 years. When she became sexually active in high school, she was terrified of pregnancy. Even though she was using birth control, she was so anxious for weeks afterward that it was hard to function. Once she was married and decided to start a family, A…
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Real Couples Share Their Wanting It More Progress Toward a More Fulfilling Sex Life | Ep. 62
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On the final day of our latest Wanting It More round, I gathered all the wonderful husbands and wives together for a warm farewell Zoom call. During this heartwarming session, I posed the question, "What's been your most significant takeaway from this journey?" Their honest responses moved me to tears. At just eight weeks into their Wanting It More…
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I'm answering the most frequent questions I get about my online program, Wanting It More, which is now open for registration for the Oct./Nov. round. I think it’s THE best online program out there for helping women with low libido want and enjoy sex more, while also supporting their husbands so they can create a nourishing, fun, connecting sex life…
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