S01:E06 – Jenna Marshall is lost

That’s immortali-TEA, my darlings

“Don’t you just love a homecoming episode?” begins Yasemin, although neither of these Brits actually know what a homecoming even is. “If you’re American, let us know what it means,” she adds. The sixth episode of season one, entitled “No Place like Homecoming”, begins with the liars giving Aria an intervention which means we’re treated to a flashback, much to your hosts’ disgust. “Spencer saves us all,” Lacey says with relief when Spencer tells her friends that she’s going to take her country club boo, Alex, to homecoming and for a moment Pretty Little Liars is just like any other teen show. But of course, an A message via a fortune cookie reminds us of why we love this show so much.

Aria who, as usual, causes heated discussion amongst your hosts throughout the episode, seems particularly miffed at her intervention being gate crashed. “I’ve lost my pedo of a boyfriend, my parents hate each other and now my fortune cookie is ruining my life – screw this,” Yasemin mocks.

Despite this, homecoming is the titular event of this episode, it takes an awful lot of build-up to get there. While Hanna debates how to beat her 40-year-old rival for homecoming queen – “It was some extra they found round the corner – it was like, you’ll do. You’re Heather Perez,” explains Lacey - Emily does the most to try and avoid Maya in the halls making lame excuses. “You are 16 years old,” adds Yasemin. “You are not busy.”

A new drinking game is introduced (alcoholics anonymous, anyone?) – in addition to in mirror shots, any mention or sighting of ‘Go Sharks’ also initiates a sip of your drink. Although, maybe for Lacey it’s just an excuse. “I clung to that sign” she says as she swigs her wine before an Ezria scene plays. She later adds another drinking rule whereby any shot looking out through the ridiculously large cafeteria window equals a sip. Meanwhile, poor Yasemin suffers through it sober.

Spencer and Hanna discover Toby’s tattoo (901 Free At Last) in a scene that has Lacey and Yasemin drooling while the liars are further flummoxed by the fact notorious loner Tony has snagged himself two tickets to homecoming. Yasemin adds: “I thought that they were going to suspect ‘who is it? Who is he taking?’ But they think, automatically, that it’s Jenna and they’re going to kill them.” The new information about Toby spurs Spencer’s manhunt for them and, unbothered about Hanna’s homecoming woes, she insists her friend steals Jenna’s file from the psychiatrist's office.

During the build up there are several cute couple scenes (not you, Ezria. Never you!) where both Toby and Alex have your hosts swooning but of course, Aria could never let us forget about her grooming Romeo as she spends most of the episode pining for him.

Trying to lure Aria from her self-pity party, and to also secure another vote for homecoming queen, Hanna pushes her friend to come to homecoming after all by offering her a choice of two dresses – one of which forces Lacey to reminisce on another well-known teen drama. “As soon as I saw that dress I got PTSD – I was like: That’s the dress – I bet that’s made out of business material,” she tells Yasemin after treating the listeners to an excerpt of Anna Todd’s infamous Wattpad story turned bestselling novel, After.

Eventually the liars make it to homecoming and your hosts are in awe of its extravagance, recalling that their own school discos were a little lower budget. “I was lucky if we had a CD that had the most recent artists on it at our school parties. It was normally crazy frog, big fish little fish cardboard box,” Lacey adds. Despite the drama of the episode, perhaps the biggest shock was the Toyota Corolla raffle taking place at this school dance. “Is this an advert? They big up this car eight times this episode,” says Lacey.

At the homecoming, barely anyone gets Lacey and Yasemins’s seal of approval when it comes to their attire. From Spencer’s lacklustre strapless silver dress to Hanna’s updo that ages her by 20 years, even surprise guest Melissa is ridiculed for her 70s blowout. Aria almost escapes their criticism, but new lighting reveals her dress to be more in line with her character – rubbish. Only Emily receives praise: “She looks really nice, she looks really pretty,” adds the President of her hate club Yasemin.

But Emily yet again crushes another character’s heart when she walks into homecoming not with Maya, but hand-in-hand with Toby Cavanaugh much to her friends’ shock. She’s so confused as to why her biggest ally Hanna ever thought she’d like Maya. “Emily says Maya’s name like it’s a piece of dogshit on the bottom of her shoe,” observes Lacey. Despite the obvious tension, Emily and Toby have a great time at homecoming until that scene at the end. As they enjoy the elaborate carnival, the rest of the liars worry for Emily’s safety. Except Aria who, of course, is more preoccupied with Ezra and his Hitler Youth haircut.

She follows him out onto the hall when he stomps off after seeing her have fun with an age-appropriate boy, gaslighting her into loving him even more. “I was being sick in my mouth and Aria gives him the biggest puppy dog eyes and I’m like Aria, please, have some self control,” says Yasemin.

Melissa causes drama with Alex and Spencer before she relives her glory days as Rosewood’s homecoming queen, taking up too much stage time in the lead up to Sean and Hanna’s crowning. Unfortunately for Sean, Hanna has left with Lucas to retrieve Jenna’s file and he’s left standing alone on the stage, much to Melissa’s joy.

But the drama truly unfolds when Hanna discovers Toby’s file instead and reveals the true nature of his and Jenna’s relationship - “Toby’s not a virgin?” asks Lacey. Convinced Toby is the devil incarnate, the liars try to reach Emily who has wandered off with “Ali’s killer” according to a text by Aria.

With the tensions rising, your hosts find humour in the dramatics of the episodes final scenes, becoming more preoccupied with Jenna and how she ended up in the hall of mirrors (yes, the school dance has that too). Yasemin asks: “How did Jenna get there? How did she - she must have crawled there and butted into doors.”

Jenna isn’t the only one to end up with concussion this homecoming when Toby gets a little heated with Emily and scares her off in a cliffhanger ending.

This episode is full of drama, fun and shock factor whereby perhaps the most shocking of all is found at the end of the episode as Yasemin gives her favourite liar.

Quotes

“Hanna says ‘I’m starving’, goes for the fortune cookies – who goes for the cookies first if you’re hungry?” – Yasemin [10m34s-10m40s]

“Oh no, we’re not meeting on the dirty step where you’ve just been sleeping on a couch. You didn’t just snog my sister and then come into my room to touch my bursa sac.” – Lacey [30m46s-30m56s]

“Imagine being, I don’t even know how old she is, 23 and going to your high school or secondary school to present a crown for some dance. That sounds so lame, as Toby would say: That is so lame! That is so sad. Does [Melissa] not have a life?” – Yasemin [44m33s-44m51s]

“Aria’s going to the beanbag toss and there’s a tosser there – his name is Ezra.” – Lacey [48m25s-48m29s]

“They’re friends because they didn’t have anyone else and they were both unpopular. Hanna was fat. Mona was a dork. And they just kind of found each other and became popular and then that’s it. That’s their friendship.” – Yasemin [47m44s-47m56s]

“I read and love romance novels – this scene by anyone who is not 9,000 years older than the girl he’s talking to would be absolutely, I would be lapping this up in a romance novel.” - Lacey [1hr12m57s-1hr13m08s]

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