Throwback episode: Did you just gaslight me?

Too Old For This Sh*t

As we wrap up the season, I'll be taking a break from releasing new episodes in November and December, but don't worry—I’ll be sharing a few earlier episodes that left a lasting impact on me while I record new ones for the next season! This week’s revisit is Episode 28 from 2020 with Shannon Higgins, a guest I’ve had the pleasure of recording four episodes with. She’s someone I hold a lot of respect for, and despite the tough topic, she’s great at keeping her sense of humor throughout our conversations.

In this episode, we dive deep into the topic of gaslighting. If you've ever been labeled as “insecure,” “crazy,” or “jealous” and started questioning your own reality, or had hurtful comments brushed off as “just a joke,” this conversation is for you. Shannon, a Licensed Professional Counselor and survivor of narcissistic abuse, shares her expertise and personal experience, proving that anyone—even those trained in recognising abuse—can fall victim.

We explore what it means to be a narcissist and how gaslighting works, including real-life examples from listeners. Shannon also explains how gaslighting can happen to anyone, regardless of their background, and how toxic behavior doesn’t always mean someone is a narcissist. We talk about the complexities of gaslighting, including how even well-meaning parents can engage in it unintentionally.

Shannon sheds light on complex PTSD, the self-blame victims often experience, and how trauma bonding keeps people tied to their abusers. We also discuss the importance of recognising gaslighting without overusing the term, which can invalidate real abuse survivors.

Finally, Shannon offers insights on how to protect yourself in toxic dynamics and highlights some specialist therapies for those recovering from abusive relationships, including Brainspotting, Somatic Experiencing, and EMDR.

Content note: If this episode brings up difficult emotions for you, please reach out to a local mental health professional or a trauma-trained therapist.

Thanks for tuning in, and enjoy this special throwback!

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Find Shannon at https://unlockingfortitude.com/ & on insta at shannonhigginslpc

Shannon’s recommended reads:

• Psychopath Free & Whole Again by Jackson MacKenzie
• Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft
• Healing from Hidden Abuse by Shannon Thomas, LCSW
• The Empath's Survival Guide by Judith Orloff, M.D.
• In Sheep's Clothing by George K. Simon, Ph.D.
• Shadow Daughter by Harriet Brown
• Women Who Love Psychopaths by Sandra Brown, M.A.
• The Covert Passive-Aggressive Narcissist by Debbie Mirza
• Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving by Pete Walker, M.A.
• Find more resources and support at choosecourage.org.