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Showing Support for the Mental Load
Manage episode 430686409 series 3471101
Το περιεχόμενο παρέχεται από το Katlynn Pyatt and Angie Cantrell, Katlynn Pyatt, and Angie Cantrell. Όλο το περιεχόμενο podcast, συμπεριλαμβανομένων των επεισοδίων, των γραφικών και των περιγραφών podcast, μεταφορτώνεται και παρέχεται απευθείας από τον Katlynn Pyatt and Angie Cantrell, Katlynn Pyatt, and Angie Cantrell ή τον συνεργάτη της πλατφόρμας podcast. Εάν πιστεύετε ότι κάποιος χρησιμοποιεί το έργο σας που προστατεύεται από πνευματικά δικαιώματα χωρίς την άδειά σας, μπορείτε να ακολουθήσετε τη διαδικασία που περιγράφεται εδώ https://el.player.fm/legal.
We don't want to ask for help with the mental load.
Something about saying "can you help me with..." or "thanks for helping me with..." just grates on me. Most likely because it implies that I own the entire task and my partner only has to think about it and participate if asked, directed and given specific instructions.
Sometimes when I'm at my breaking point and feeling frustrated about how much of the mental load I carry, I don't want to ask for help and I need a small way to help me get past feeling frustrated by it. At least enough that I can have a conversation and not an argument around the task at hand.
I'm a believer in small language changes helping shift your broader mindset. Recently Zach Watson (Recovering Man Child) made a reel about is saying "thank you for unloading the groceries" or "thank you for filling out that form".
When I say "help me", inside I'm hoping my husband picks up on the cue that doing this more often would benefit. me and be a big help, lighten my load and therefore he should do it more often. That message is never received. Instead, being direct in the ask and swapping out "helping" for the actual verb changes the tone from a desperate ask to a form of gratitude. And gratitude is more likely to be noticed and repeated. It also helps shift you out of negative energy and closer to a space where you can articulate your needs.
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