106 How to be your authentic self with Alan Braithwaite of Yellow Tuxedo | The Diary of a CEO conversation cards

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106 How to be your authentic self with Alan Braithwaite of Yellow Tuxedo | The Diary of a CEO conversation cards

In this mini series of The Diary of a CEO conversation Cards, Ricky Locke and Alan Braithwaite discuss the common misconceptions people have about Alan and how it makes him feel. They explore the importance of being authentic and prioritizing fun in social situations. They also discuss the expectations people have of public figures and the responsibility to be polite and genuine. The conversation highlights the power of making a positive impact on others and spreading positivity in everyday interactions.

Takeaways

• Be authentic and prioritize fun in social interactions.
• Recognize and challenge misconceptions about yourself.
• Understand the expectations people may have of public figures.
• Spread positivity and make a positive impact on others.

Chapters

00:00 Introduction and Setting the Tone

01:07 Question: Common Misconception About Alan

03:02 Being Authentic and Prioritizing Fun

05:27 Adapting to Different Social Situations

08:29 Misconceptions and Expectations

10:52 Authenticity and Responsibility

12:31 Expectations of Public Figures

16:00 Impact and Significance

18:59 Desired Impact on Listeners

21:39 Spreading Positivity and Making a Difference

21:45 Conclusion

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Transcription

Ricky Locke (00:00.785)

Welcome back to another episode of the Unlock podcast in my mini series where I dive deep into the diary of a CEO conversation cards to unlock some deeper levels of connection. And today I've got a great friend and a returning guest, Mr. Alan Braithwaite.

💛 Alan @YellowTuxedo (00:16.594)

Thank you, mate. Love being like this doesn't feel like a podcast I'm just having a chat with my mate Ricky. Do you know what I mean? And if it's just fab to be with you as always

Ricky Locke (00:22.035)

Yeah, I know.

Well, as my brain was going, just going to go off the cuff here and introduce, and I'm brave about it, I felt like then I need to probably post edit this and go, explosions there, you know? I think, yeah.

💛 Alan @YellowTuxedo (00:32.934)

Always explosion. Is there anyone who doesn't need more explosions in their day to day? Surely we all do

Ricky Locke (00:38.409)

Well, I agree. Yeah. Especially on a Thursday morning when, like we said, we could do a bit more energy, right? Anyway, Alan, as the premise is, we've got a question for you selected for you. Now, obviously you have no understanding, no awareness of what this is about. You got literally no idea. So, and that's just off the cuff. Yes. Brilliant. Brim. Yeah. It does sound, doesn't it? Like a, like a magic trick. Like you have no, you know, anyway.

💛 Alan @YellowTuxedo (00:45.282)

Yes.

💛 Alan @YellowTuxedo (00:57.67)

Yes, correct. I can confirm Ricky the magician. I can confirm. I do not know what you're about to do

Ricky Locke (01:07.177)

Alan, I've got a couple of questions selected, so we'll see if we get time and have some fun, but are you ready for your question? All right, here we go. The question is this. What is a common misconception that people have about you? And how does it make you feel?

💛 Alan @YellowTuxedo (01:11.891)

Yes, mate. Let's do this.

💛 Alan @YellowTuxedo (01:24.05)

Oh, common misconception about me and how does it make me feel? Um, I think I can answer the feel part before the misconception part. So the feel part is quite easy. I spend quite a lot of time kind of in my own head, thinking, working through stuff, I enjoy it a lot. So I think the feel part is I don't feel anything about the misconceptions. Cause I think if there is a misconception, it's usually because of what I'm putting out.

Ricky Locke (01:34.617)

Okay.

💛 Alan @YellowTuxedo (01:52.494)

Um, so I'm, I'm kind of okay, but I own that misconception, if that makes sense. So, so there's no point me feeling unhappy about what someone might think about me and everything else. The other part is, and there are misconceptions which I'll come to, because I understand what I put out years and years and years ago, like decades ago, when I was younger, I remember.

You know what you'll know? Well, I say you'll know what it's like. You may know what it's like. There was always your mates, right? When your mates were with you together, when you were with your mates, your male friends, right? You'd be like that. The second anyone was with their girlfriend or a girlfriend was there, everything changed, right? Everything changed. And I remember sometime in my early 20s, late teens going, why does everyone change?

Ricky Locke (02:28.213)

Yeah, yeah.

💛 Alan @YellowTuxedo (02:34.25)

Why wouldn't you want to be the same person regardless of whether you're girlfriend, because that means either your mates aren't getting the genuine you or your girlfriend's not getting the, or they're getting a version of you. Right. And, and, but I understand the kind of topics and conversations and language might be subtly different, that's different, but fundamentally there were people who were massively different. Right. And I remember looking at them and you know, everyone's in their own life. It's fine. And I remember thinking, I don't want to do that. So, um,

other than a few subtleties, pretty much I'm the same person with my friends and Emily, now my wife, which comes back to, I guess, the misconceptions part is I feel sometimes there's a misconception about me, but so because I'm rather gregarious and loud, the, the more kind of deep thinking overthinker I don't always think comes out because I don't want it to, because I want to prioritize fun.

Um, so I, I wonder, I wonder, I don't really know. No one's ever come up and when I was wrong about you, Alan, I wonder if that kind of the, the deeper side of me that I may keep for conversations like this doesn't always come out and some people may have that misconception, but fundamentally I've made a choice to be like that, so I'm okay with it. Does that make sense?

Ricky Locke (03:49.253)

Mm, yeah, brilliant. Yeah, a little bit. Yeah. So to tell us a little bit more about that, then. So does it does it affect you? So just to clarify again, like, how does that make you feel when people have that misconception?

💛 Alan @YellowTuxedo (04:03.626)

It doesn't make me feel anything because I've chosen to be in certain a certain way. And because their misconception will be based on what I'm putting out. So I'm kind of, I don't feel anything. Sometimes I might go, okay, I probably need to be a little bit less of a joker for a period of time. And perhaps a bit more kind of this kind of conversational Alan. Which interesting, if you get me by myself, you tend to get, if I'm with Emily.

then Emily's the straight person and I'm the joker or the dickhead, whatever you want to call it. And I'm okay with that because I feel there is an element, a balance and in a conversation like this, it's like when we do the digital circuits, we have walk on music, right? So when we open the doors on Zoom and everyone comes into music, if Emily's there, I'll be kind of singing, dancing. I'll bring my microphone down, pretend I'm a superstar DJ or an Oasis or something. If Emily's not there.

Ricky Locke (04:37.482)

Yeah.

💛 Alan @YellowTuxedo (04:59.73)

I actually feel a bit awkward and go, oh, hello, everyone. Welcome, welcome along, you know? So it's, I guess it's just a bit like that, but going back to how I feel, no, I'm okay. Because I think these are conscious choices I'm making and neither of them are, I'm gonna say bad, but I don't think that's the word. Neither of them are not nice versions, if that makes sense. They're all the same version. I just sometimes put that switch up more than that switch and bring that switch down.

Ricky Locke (05:04.352)

Yeah.

Ricky Locke (05:08.973)

Yeah.

Ricky Locke (05:23.341)

Yeah.

Ricky Locke (05:27.229)

Yeah, like a thermostat, isn't it? Like you might have to heat up a little bit, cool it down a little bit and tailor it a little bit, but it's still you.

💛 Alan @YellowTuxedo (05:28.983)

So I don't know if anyone...

💛 Alan @YellowTuxedo (05:35.306)

Yeah, yeah, of course. I mean, it's got to be the same like as a magic show, right? You know, you're not going to go on stage as a magic show and give the deep thinking Ricky Locke. You're going to give the presenter Ricky Locke, right? It doesn't mean the deep thinking Ricky Locke, the kind of specific version of yourself, the self-improvement doesn't exist. And it will be kind of intertwined, right? But you've dialed that one up, that Fermistats up to 100.

Ricky Locke (05:40.035)

Mmm.

Ricky Locke (05:50.175)

Yeah.

💛 Alan @YellowTuxedo (06:04.694)

conversation like this, dial the performance down a little bit and just maintain this. And I guess that's it. So like I say, any misconceptions outside of that, I probably don't even really know about, you know, and I don't mean this in a flippant way. I don't care because I'm happy with who I am, 99% of it. So, which I've put a lot of time and effort into being happy with who I am and making sure that people are getting me and things like that. So, yeah, I think that's where I'm at with that.

Ricky Locke (06:10.955)

Yeah.

Ricky Locke (06:17.854)

Yeah, yeah.

Ricky Locke (06:21.272)

Yeah.

Ricky Locke (06:32.865)

So just so to explore that, I totally agree. So like in Tesco's when I walk around the hours, I'm like, hey, it's magic, man. I'm picking up my chicken and my protein. Hey, no, of course not. It's like really grumpy. I quite often tell a lot of my customers, if you meet me around in Tesco, it's because a lot of people who book me where I live, I'll say, yeah, if you, if you see me in Tesco, I'm probably going to be in my pajamas. I'm like, who are you? You know, you know, because you have to. There's that human element, isn't there, of like.

the separation. So is there then just to explore that, is there a misconception that people believe that what I see, so the Alan I see on Zoom, I'm going to believe that that's the Alan I'm going to see in Tesco's or in the shops or at the school, the drop off. Do you think that that's what people see or do you think they have that understanding of, well, he's a bit of a miserable bugger, wasn't he? Like he's not the same that I know from digital circus.

💛 Alan @YellowTuxedo (07:22.886)

No, I get that. And actually the school runs are really good example of that. So we do the school run twice a day, we park in the park, we walk through the park, and there's a large amount of parents and children and everything else. So you don't want grumpy, Alan, you don't want kind of, don't want to talk to people, Alan. And also we're a big believer in like representing your business and your brand and all opportunities and all everything else. So

we have to make sure we're on it through the park, right? Not on it, because that makes it sound like fake. That version is there that day. But there are some days when the kids have come in for a chat at midnight and you can't work out why, or you're not feeling best yourself or whatever else, but you go, it's gonna be a real struggle today.

Ricky Locke (07:52.491)

Yeah.

💛 Alan @YellowTuxedo (08:11.862)

But so you have to keep your eyes down, right? And you kind of, perhaps you're not saying, because there'll be some days when I walk down the kind of the path through the park and it's good morning, good morning, hello you, how are you today? And it is like showbiz, you know, showbiz Ricky and Alan, I'm not in showbiz, so I don't feel I could say that then. But there are those days, but I think, I feel most people are reasonable enough to understand that.

Ricky Locke (08:21.943)

Yeah.

Ricky Locke (08:25.342)

Yeah, yeah.

Ricky Locke (08:29.583)

Yeah.

💛 Alan @YellowTuxedo (08:39.158)

You can't be a hundred percent, a hundred percent of the time. And everyone's allowed an off day. And if they're not aware of everyone's allowed an off day and then they're going, Oh, he's a grumpy bugger. Then if I'm really honest, that's their problem, not mine, you know? Um, and, and if someone is being a grumpy bugger, the first thing you should be saying to yourself, and it's difficult to remember to do this is. I hope everything's okay with them.

Ricky Locke (08:45.166)

Hmm

Ricky Locke (08:54.357)

Yes. Yeah.

💛 Alan @YellowTuxedo (09:04.67)

It should not be about you. It should be about them. It's really tricky at times to do that because you've got your own crud going on as well, but it should be. I hope they're okay. And I think it's still okay to have opinions and thoughts and, oh, they were a bit miserable today. But then when you've gone through all that, it should still come back to, drop them a note. And I think that's really important, Ricky, right? We're all different. There's, I like to talk about, there's like...

Ricky Locke (09:15.594)

Yeah.

Ricky Locke (09:26.846)

Yeah.

💛 Alan @YellowTuxedo (09:32.074)

There's something like eight or nine billion people in the world. I lose track, right? And, and I don't know if this figure is still accurate, but once upon a time I was Googling how many people we meet in our life and the suggested figure was 80,000, okay? So we are coming up with thoughts and opinions on life, on everyday life, but we have fundamentally put all 8 billion people in the same pot of our thoughts and feelings based on only meeting 80,000, which

Ricky Locke (09:45.437)

Oh, wow, that's quite small. Yeah.

💛 Alan @YellowTuxedo (10:00.074)

my maths isn't that fast as a percentage is ridiculously small. So why would we, you know, when we're in the right place and we're firing in the right place, why would we care in inverted commas about what someone thinks about ourselves because we don't know what their, you know, their belief structure and everything else I like that you talk to me about and I like to listen to is like, we just don't know. So look after yourself a bit more, make sure others are okay.

Ricky Locke (10:04.768)

Yeah.

💛 Alan @YellowTuxedo (10:28.89)

And it just doesn't really matter if some, if someone's got a misconception of you going back to the question based on something you're doing, that's not, Oh, I'm going to do a buzzword Ricky, that's not authentic. Then the problem lies with you. If someone's got a misconception of you and you are being authentic in this example, then, then there isn't, there is no problem, you know, or how does that, did I do that the right way round?

Ricky Locke (10:40.347)

Yeah.

Ricky Locke (10:44.569)

Hmm

Ricky Locke (10:47.799)

Yes.

Ricky Locke (10:52.297)

Yeah, no, you're absolutely right. Yeah.

💛 Alan @YellowTuxedo (10:52.574)

No, the problem lies with them. You know, it's yeah, it's like it's, if you're being authentic, it doesn't matter. You know, my dad always said, if there's a problem and you can do something about it, do something about it. So it doesn't matter. If there's a problem, you can't do anything about it. You can't do anything about it. So don't worry about it. You know, it's like, you know, so.

Ricky Locke (10:58.379)

Yeah.

Ricky Locke (11:07.801)

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, so let's explore that because I totally agree that you've had the light bulb moment is that isn't it the authenticity if let's say me and you, what we do on Zoom...