47: Fragile Power: Why Having Everything Is Never Enough

Let's Talk Family Enterprise

Introduction

Welcome to Let’s Talk Family Enterprise, a podcast that explores the ideas, concepts and models that best serve Family Enterprise Advisors in supporting their clients.

All views, information and opinions expressed during this podcast are solely those of the individuals involved and do not necessarily represent those of Family Enterprise Canada.

Description

In this episode, host Steve Legler speaks with Dr. Paul Hokemeyer, a renowned psychotherapist who works with individuals and families all around the world. Together, they discuss Paul’s book, Fragile Power, and venture into the challenges of working with exceptional clients from minority populations of the ultra-wealthy, including the narcissistic and the addicted, and how FEAs can try to better serve such family clients.

Guest bio

Dr. Paul Hokemeyer (J.D., Ph.D.) believes mental health matters for everyone, everywhere. He is the founding principal of Drayson Mews and the author of seminal resources for UHNW individuals, couples, and families seeking culturally respectful and clinically effective mental and relational health services. Prior to graduating from the Harvard Medical School’s Global Leaders in Healthcare program, Dr. Paul explored the use of digital technologies to improve the delivery of behavioral health services to disenfranchised global communities at the Yale School of Management. Dr. Paul’s research in the realm of UHNW identity and behavioral health has been peer-reviewed and published by the Journal of Wealth Management, the International Family Offices Journal, Globe Law and Business, and Lambert Academic Press.

You can learn more about Dr. Paul Hokemeyer on LinkedIn.

Key Takeaways

[0:26] Steve Legler introduces Dr. Paul Hokemeyer and asks him to talk about his book, and more specifically its subtitle: Fragile Power: Why Having Everything Is Never Enough; Lessons from Treating the Wealthy and Famous.

[3:36] Qualitative wealth tends to be non-linear and messy and will affect quantitative wealth. Dr. Hokemeyer shares how he thinks advisors and advisory firms might best navigate issues in this realm.

[6:40] Recognizing, understanding and networking in order to better support families.

[8:38] Challenging self-reinforcing traits as they relate to minorities in positions of power: isolation, suspiciousness of outsiders, and hyper-agency.

[14:23] Earning trust for a clinician is a tall order, Dr. Hokemeyer shares an example that explains the luxury rehab culture and how to avoid the biggest pitfalls.

[21:20] The handshake business of finding humanistic care.

[22:37] Dr. Hokemeyer explains how narcissism develops and why this trait may be more frequent in UHNW. He also abounds in the way of relying on empirical data and credentialed professionals.

[28:21] The two extremes of powerful and powerless minorities harbour stark internal similarities, despite their ever-growing divide.

[31:44] Dr. Hokemeyer shares his reading recommendations as well as his piece of advice for advisors.

[32:44] Steve thanks Dr. Hokemeyer for joining the podcast and sharing so much of his expertise, and signs off until next month.

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Mentioned in this episode

The Let’s Talk Family Enterprise podcast is brought to you by Family Enterprise Canada.

Fragile Power: Why Having Everything Is Never Enough; Lessons from Treating the Wealthy and Famous

The Alchemist, by Paolo Coelho

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