Ferret and the Pheromones 1

Ferret and the Pheromones

This is the first of 5 shows where I use some heavy-handed satire to take the piss out of everyone and everyfing I feel like.
In today's show I have a go at Australia, The NSW Teachers' Federation, and the Muzzos, as well as some other rude stuff.

So, here’s the lowdown. Me names Ferris Cutler, but they call me Ferret. I hail from the Outer Western Suburbs of Sydney and up until a few years ago I was just a little cunt who got horribly pissed every fursd’y night when I got me dole cheque and usually got the shit beat outta me by the locals at The Imperial Hotel in Windsor. But all that changed when a couple a fings happened to me.

First, I found out that I had two brothers I never knew I had – a huge cunt called Bernard who spoke like a pommy wif a pole up ‘is arse and a twin brother, a little shit called Horatio, who was a little fucker like me but who spoke like a whinin’ prick wif a high voice and who kept injurin’ ‘imself. Not only that, but they told me I was heir to a vast fortune! But that’s not all. On the same day, I tried the Pheromone wipes in a machine in the shitter at the Imperial and found out that they really did drive women wild. Fuck me! All me dreams’d come true.

In the end I got rich, women fucked me stupid, and I formed a band wif me brothers, and a few other weird cunts. We called the band, ‘Ferret and the Pheromones’ and the songs I’m gunna play yous in these five podcasts are the best of The Pheromones. In fact, they’re the only songs by The Pheromones. If yous are interested yous can get ‘em on Spotify or one of those other platforms that charge you a shitload a month and pay the artists who make the music fuck all.

And by the way, there’s a novel comin’ out soon describin’ my exploits.

So, I’ll start wif a song from me first album. It’s about a super-centurion I had the hots for when I went to Japan. I can’t remember ‘er name but I used me Pheromone wipes to good effect and she fucked me like a dwarf at a midget fucking contest. It’s called ‘The Granny Thriller’.
Ferret is a pint-sized bogan from the Hawkesbury in NSW Australia. He is songwriter and lead singer for The Pheromones - a mythical parody punk band. In these 5 podcasts he talks us through 33 of his politically incorrect, highly offensive, comical, satirical songs.

Κεφάλαια

1. Ferret and the Pheromones 1 (00:00:00)

2. The Granny Thriller (00:03:23)

3. Milkin' the Cow (00:06:36)

4. 9290 (00:11:24)

5. The Book of Love (00:15:59)

6. Get a Fucken' Apostrophe (00:22:20)

7. Censorship is for Cunts (00:27:01)