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Complex PTSD Recovery [Reports]: We Are Traumatized Motherfuckers

CPTSD, Intergenerational PTSD, Relational Trauma | TMFR LLC

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Part of the Traumatized Motherfuckers' Research Project: What you need to know about CPTSD, in bitesized summaries of our in-depth research efforts. Peer-reviewed research and irreverent dark humor meet trauma recovery, without the "bright sides." Let's talk about the complicated experience of rectifying a life built on trauma, relearning how to have relationships, and re-imagining your future... in micro chunks. (When you're ready, jump into the deep end, detailed below.) You aren't alone, ...
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Joe delves into the complexities of trauma and its impact on behaviors, emotions, and relationships. He emphasizes the importance of being authentically courageous and vulnerable. Joe shares his expertise and personal experiences to help listeners understand and overcome their struggles. The podcast provides a supportive and empathetic space for individuals to learn, reflect, and take steps towards a more authentic and fulfilling life. For access to all episodes and bonus content, subscribe ...
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- Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://joeryan.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ - Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://instagram.com/joeryan⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ - Coaching: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://joeryan.com/coaching/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ - Subscribe To All Episodes ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://joeryan.com/subscribe/⁠⁠ It’s not you - it’s your family system. But it’s you, too. It’s time to talk about the necessity of weaning off external val…
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Education and Responsibility are important for t-recovery... But progress peters when self-punishment predominates. Without self-compassion, regression becomes reality. Let's talk about the requirement for self-compassion and 5 ways to do it. video! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.…
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When life serves conflictual and confusing information, our brains simplify it to survive... and fuck us over in the long-run. Let's talk about the "ALL GOOD" and "ALL BAD" self-defense mechanisms of Splitting and Projective Identification, what function they serve as children & adults, and how they create shitass trauma-bound lives down the line. …
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Ready to learn about the maladaptive tendencies of your most difficult relational partners? When we don't believe we're "entitled" to a need or emotion, we vent it into (unwise) action. Let's discuss the immature cognitive patterns we/others may still be utilizing to keep our brains "safe." We'll cover the lowest level self-defense mechanisms: Acti…
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- Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://joeryan.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠- Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://instagram.com/joeryan⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠- Coaching: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://joeryan.com/coaching/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠- Subscribe To All Episodes ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://joeryan.com/subscribe/⁠⁠ In the most recent episode of "It's Not You, It's Your Trauma," Joe Ryan delves into toxic relationships. These relationships, …
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We've learned that narcs don't generally recover because of their "creative narration" abilities. Now, let's talk about some of the ways they spin those stories. Today, we start our examination of self-defense mechanisms by looking at the purposes of Intellectualization and Rationalization. Then, we ask the question: SO HOW SMART ARE THEY? And disc…
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- Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://joeryan.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠- Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://instagram.com/joeryan⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠- Coaching: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://joeryan.com/coaching/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠- Subscribe To All Episodes ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://joeryan.com/subscribe/⁠⁠ Anger and hate are both related to unmet needs. When we feel angry, it's because we want something that we're not getting. And …
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- Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://joeryan.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠- Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://instagram.com/joeryan⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠- Coaching: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://joeryan.com/coaching/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠- Subscribe To All Episodes ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://joeryan.com/subscribe/⁠⁠ If you grew up in a family system that was shame-based, you may feel weighed down by shame. Shame shields us from pain and negl…
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They'll shake your hand while pissing on your leg, plead and then pulverize promises, and generally give the sense that they're one hundred people who share a face. But why? Let's talk about narcissist personality structuring that ranges from neurotic to psychopathic, but never hits the mark of "maturity." Meanwhile, creating the condition I've tit…
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- Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://joeryan.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠- Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://instagram.com/joeryan⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠- Coaching: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://joeryan.com/coaching/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠- Subscribe To All Episodes ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://joeryan.com/subscribe/⁠⁠ Many of us are emotionally stuck at a point where we feel that our self-worth is completely dependent on our mother's love and …
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"Just feel good about your authentic self and don't let anyone wreck your recognition of specialness." Right. Let's talk about what may be holding us back from achieving this safe, centered, self-supportive, resilience-boosting psychological station, and the easiest way to achieve the "healthy self" that's never been otherwise defined. Adaptive Nar…
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- Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://joeryan.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠- Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://instagram.com/joeryan⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠- Coaching: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://joeryan.com/coaching/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠- Subscribe To All Episodes ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://joeryan.com/subscribe/⁠⁠ Have you ever had a moment that felt like a key turning in a lock, opening doors to rooms within yourself you didn't know exist…
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Why is the decision to sacrifice or save our brains so difficult to make? Let's talk about subconscious narratives we probably all carry, the ambivalence-guilt connection, and the power of perception on caregiving burden. Find the transcript at t-mfrs.com Looking for the 9 full episodes on this topic? Hit up the Filial Obligation Collection on patr…
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A big 'nouncement; so long TMFRS! Then let's talk about what constitutes a VulNarc versus "a person with CPTSD." Where does the chronic manipulation come from? How are recovery resources used for trauma-unhealing? What's up with the hostility and antagonism? . Lots to cover in this mashup of "time, space, and energy" meets "VulNarcs" and "trauma-se…
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- Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://joeryan.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ - Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://instagram.com/joeryan⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ - Coaching: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://joeryan.com/coaching/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ - Subscribe To All Episodes ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://joeryan.com/subscribe/⁠⁠ The terrible two in children is a vital step in their emotional development. It is a psychological birth that starts separat…
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This year we spoke about Intimacy. Now it's time to confront *Intimacy.* Let's look at the discrepant programs that live inside of us, gathered across a lifetime of adaptation to extreme events and unhealthy narratives. We're talking Sexual Healing vs. Internal Family Systems and deprived needs. Need this conversation more than you knew? Check out …
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We're tying up loose ends in our discussion of relationships! Today, discussing the cognitive copy-pastes we accidentally carry out between past and present relationships - and they ways they set us back in our recovery goals while creating abusive dynamics. Need more thoughts about transference in all its forms? I've got another hour of material a…
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Let's cut the brainy shit, the real answer to surviving the holidays is not abandoning yourself. Need more holiday support? Don't we all. For all the other holiday freebies, just hit up patreon.com/traumatizedmotherfuckers. Search "holiday" to find releases from the past for no cost, or subscribe to access the pre-wrangled Holiday Survival Collecti…
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- Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://joeryan.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ - Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://instagram.com/joeryan⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ - Coaching: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://joeryan.com/coaching/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ - Subscribe To All Episodes ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://joeryan.com/subscribe/⁠⁠ After a long hiatus, Joe is back with a new perspective, insight, and positivity that he is ready to share! Deciding to focus on ge…
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Back to NonViolent Communication! Here are 10 things the experts say destroy our attempts at vulnerable disclosures and requests. Just in time for the holidays, let's talk about why these conversational reactions burn our t-brains and why people are programmed to use them, anyways. For the full transcript and all the doods, check t-mfrs.com and get…
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- Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://joeryan.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ - Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://instagram.com/joeryan⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ - Coaching: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://joeryan.com/coaching/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ - Submit A Question ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://joeryan.com/ask/⁠⁠⁠⁠ - Subscribe To All Episodes ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://joeryan.com/subscribe/⁠⁠ Family System Revisited builds off the Family Shame Episode (Episode 69), in which J…
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We learn to neglect ourselves at an early age and then everything goes to hell forever after. Stuck in unfixable suffering, toiling away with ineffectual attempts to comfort ourselves, and possibly... destroying our own lives, in an attempt to end the self-deprivation through backdoor methods. Let's talk about needs and what happens when we learn t…
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"Depression is the reward we get for being good children." NVC helps yer relationships, sure. But it'll also rewire your t-brain trashhabits, emotional misunderstandings, and shit perspectives if you use it solo. Let's talk about the roots of the worst of us; our unmet needs and beliefs that deprivation = goodness. Which create vicious cycles of pr…
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Ever feel "unheard"? Well, here's the key to getting your point across and sparking collaboration rather than opposition. Today, we're talking about NonViolent Communication (NVC) - the 4 step framework for communicating effectively about emotions and unmet needs without stimulating defensive reactions or leaning on your own deeply ingrained contro…
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So, how do we apologize "the right way"... Rather than creating MORE damage through half-assed "I'm sorrys"? Today, let's talk about the 5 points for offering a real apology for sake of true relational healing... And four examples of how NOT to apologize, unless you actually want to make the emotional abandonment experience worse for your partner. …
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How DO we heal what's been broken? I've got a short phrase for you - it's what we've all needed to hear all along. And let's talk about the timeless wounds patched up by real apologies, as we prepare to talk about shitty apologies next time. Hail yerSelf and Cheers Fuckers. Git the transcript version of this post at t-mfrs.com and check out some do…
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We all know about the 4 survival Fs at this point. But how about the additional F reactions- Fronting and Feigning? Let's talk about learned reactions that keep us feeling safe in relationship... while rotting out the connection, engaging manipulation tactics, and using fear as a self-defense. Looking for more "real relationship talk"? Well that's …
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We've talked a lot about committing fully to relationships and overcoming our conflicts together, through examining the subconscious wounds that actually underly our relational upsets. But here's my question: Is that realistic? Today, we talk about getting clearer on the contents of our potential and current relationship partners' preprogramming, t…
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Ever feel like "the issue" isn't really "the issue" in relational conflict? That's because the real issue is buried under layers of protective instincts that keep us unable to fully connect or communicate... but very capable of fighting, endlessly. Let's talk about "conscious relationships" and their trauma recovery utility, as we discuss methods f…
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Why do we start close relationships and love connections feeling one way... only to watch them disintegrate, become survival-based, and turn into "resentment"? Let's walk through the easiest explanation ever told; pulling in our Internal Family Systems education to discuss the greatest relational obstacle of them all. Looking for a lot more relatio…
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We MFs struggle to begin or maintain healthy relationship dynamics, with a lot of externalized finger pointing about why. "Abusers just flock to me." But the truth is, the abuse recreation is mutual and it all starts in the place we attempt to willfully ignore - inside ourselves, within our preferred and hated personality aspects. Let's talk about …
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Why don't we sign up for close connections anymore? Especially after learning about our CPTSD patterns? It's an episode pulled from the private Fort! Let's talk about relationship hangups from an experiential standpoint, integrating what we've heard from the research with real life brain operations to demystify disorganized feelings about closely c…
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- Website: ⁠⁠⁠https://joeryan.com⁠⁠⁠ - Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠https://instagram.com/joeryan⁠⁠⁠ - Coaching: ⁠⁠⁠https://joeryan.com/coaching/⁠⁠⁠ - Subscribe To All Episodes ⁠⁠⁠https://joeryan.com/subscribe/⁠⁠ “Making the Right Choice” directly solves issues you currently experience in your own life with a simple message… "You Can’t Do This Work Alone" In this…
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"So how do you feel about relationships? Complicated? You want them? You despise them? You fear them? You long for them? You try them? You exit them rapidly? Or you try to? You get stuck in them? And haunted by cycles of unfulfillment?" Today, let's talk about the obstacles we face when considering relationships or landing ourselves in them. The wa…
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So you're doing your damndest to be "your best self." Maybe you're confident and comfortable in your identity these days. But, at the same time, you still find that self-condemnation is a big part of your day to day. Why? Let's talk about self-judgment taking place on subconscious levels. How your identities mask the ongoing self-loathing that crea…
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Can I Recover On My Own? Joe Ryan is a Certified Peer Support Specialist who knows trauma because he’s lived it and learned to live beyond it. Joe has been on a lifelong journey to overcome trauma, shame, and the demons that plagued him from early in life. Joe is turning his mission outward, helping others conquer their traumatic experiences throug…
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Today, sharing a mini essay I wrote for another platform, where controversial perspectives are the topic of conversation. In so much of this "trauma recovery game" we're inspired to hunker down against past patterns. But is that really healing? Want more Traumatized Motherfuckers? Join the Patreon to get hundreds of past episodes, weekly releases, …
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Ever feel like you've got a whole household of people contained in one skull? Fighting, just like they did in your family home? Turns out, that's normal. Today, let's talk about Internal Family Systems and the roles cemented in your brain. Protectors, Exiles, Distractors, and their vicious cycles that leave us feeling out of control of our own nogg…
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Joe Ryan is a Certified Peer Support Specialist who knows trauma because he’s lived it and learned to live beyond it. Joe has been on a lifelong journey to overcome trauma, shame, and the demons that plagued him from early in life. Joe is turning his mission outward, helping others conquer their traumatic experiences through his podcast (“It’s Not …
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Surprise, we're back! Keeping up with the private stream's topic of the month, we're here to talk about Loneliness. Let's discuss the varieties of loneliness, the trends that start in childhood and pervade a lifetime, and the separate condition known as Isolation. Plus, how being a relational castaway can actually benefit our post-traumatic growth …
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Subscribe To All Episodes https://joeryan.com/subscribe/ Submit A Question https://joeryan.com/ask/ How do we sit with our pain? How do we learn to grieve loss, innocence, self-respect, and pride…all while learning to empower ourselves to live our daily lives? In this episode, Joe discusses how we need to treat the pain we feel every day the same w…
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Let's talk about the opposition we face during trauma recovery - namely, from our social contacts who aren't ready to have their own histories and perspectives pulled into focus. And, let's discuss the reason why the battle is worth all the effort. Don't give up, brave Motherfucker. Remember that what you're doing matters. For everyone. ✊ Related e…
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So we do this painful and energetically expensive inner work. And then what? Return to the same old lives? Naw, Fucker. That's the fastest way to hit "revert to draft." Once the integrative inner work starts, the outer labor has to keep up. Let's talk about supporting our brain changes by building new lives, to enable further cognitive evolution as…
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Aiming for recovery, but finding that you never have the conditions to make progress? Let's talk about what it takes for a brain to heal. The basic mediums of life that most of us are unable to access in our traumatized society. Related eps: time distortion series, "rat cage" societal trauma series, inner and outer work series, refind yer Self seri…
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A brain is busy with all those survival processes running in the background and the second-by-second management of triggers and symptoms. So what happens when that system gets overloaded? Today, we're talking about the pattern of symptom masking/ignorance, overcompensation, loss of functionality, and eventual collapse. And how does "resilience vs. …
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Back to this self-limiting conversation... what happens when our "selves" are limited by incohesion? When we have inner wars over "the right thing," or oppositional memory and emotional responses confusing every issue? Let's talk about the battle that rages inside. Revisiting "parts" and how they're the crux of pulling your shit together for long-l…
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You've decided to enact new behaviors to change your life... only to find you can't actually put them into practice. You stall out and revert to old programs to your own bewilderment. Something is stalling progress from the inside. Let's talk about self-limiting strategies for living spawned by trauma. And the ways they become "default modes" of da…
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So we all have a penchant for fear, it's a foundational aspect of PTSD. But what happens when our brain relay system is wonky due to those adaptations? Let's talk about the faulty DMN. How it throws us into disjointed memories, disables continuous autobiographical recall, explains poor sense of somatic (bodily) self, and interacts with those pesky …
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We know, trauma brains create patterns that can stall us out and keep us stuck. This is especially true when talking "relationships" of all forms. Unfortunately, leading many to feel permanently socially-tethered, personally incapable, and suicidal, instead. Today, let's talk about how relationships often corrupt our lives, how to re-work them, and…
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The time comes for all of us; the family call to duty. And then what. We know it's going to trigger unwanted trauma reactions. But resisting often feels futile, immoral, and socially-punishing. Let's talk about the dangers of family re-immersion for a healing trauma brain and what we can do to protect ourselves before the filial phonecalls start. R…
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