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The goal of healing isn't just stopping the crisis. It's ultimately moving into genuine and meaningful connection with ourselves, each other, and the world around us. Join licensed therapist and author Geoff Steurer and his wife, Jody Steurer, as they share ways to move out of the crisis of sexual betrayal and relationship betrayal trauma toward connection. The information in these discussions transcends religious and cultural lines, as we all seek the same healing power of connection.
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A common reaction after an argument is the need for space to cool down and collect one’s thoughts. But when the silent treatment is continually given to intentionally shut someone out or hurt them, it becomes stonewalling, a concept identified by John Gottman. Join us as we discuss the dynamics of stonewalling, especially in the context of betrayal…
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What I've Learned as the Daughter of a Recovering Sex Addict - with Tara McCausland - Episode 269
51:02
We typically address betrayal and recovery from the perspective of the betrayer and their partner. But in a family dynamic, there are often children involved that feel the weight of the betrayal as well. Children are keenly aware of feelings and emotions and are heavily impacted by those even when they don’t understand exactly what’s happening or t…
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What I Have Learned as the Daughter of a Recovering Sex Addict - with Tara McCausland - Episode 269
51:02
We typically address betrayal and recovery from the perspective of the betrayer and their partner. But in a family dynamic, there are often children involved that feel the weight of the betrayal as well. Children are keenly aware of feelings and emotions and are heavily impacted by those even when they don’t understand exactly what’s happening or t…
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In this solo episode I’d like to take a look back at the last twenty-five years as a therapist specializing in problematic sexual behaviors and betrayal trauma. I began my career before the Internet and smartphones were a staple for most adults and teenagers. And, while those inventions are not where problematic behaviors begin, the ease of access …
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In this solo episode I’d like to take a look back at the last twenty-five years as a therapist specializing in problematic sexual behaviors and betrayal trauma. I began my career before the Internet and smartphones were a staple for most adults and teenagers. And, while those inventions are not where problematic behaviors begin, the ease of access …
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continue reading
In this episode we explore the journey from identifying as a victim to achieving personal empowerment, particularly in the context of recovering from broken trust and betrayal. The initial protective nature of victimhood can be useful, but has potential to lead to entitlement if prolonged. Join us as we discuss moving beyond victimization by establ…
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Have you ever considered that being brutally honest could be more of a reactive emotion rather than being an authentic communication skill? In this episode we welcome Dr. Jason B. Whiting to discuss the challenges of honesty in our most intimate relationships. From seemingly harmless avoidances of the “full truth”, to outright lies and deception, h…
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Partnership is the foundation of healthy intimacy and connection. In this episode we discuss the necessity of developing a protective partnership that fosters mutual understanding, safety, and commitment beyond monogamy. While it is common for men and women to enter a marriage with different life experiences and expectations around partnership, it …
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In this episode we welcome Dr. Heidi Hastings, a marriage and sex researcher, to discuss her research on the impact of betrayal on a partner's identity. Dr. Hastings outlines the five stages of betrayal and self-development, which include innocence, crisis, aftermath, healing, and transformation. Through her research involving diverse women, Dr. Ha…
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In this episode we continue our conversation on self advocacy, focusing on rebuilding trust after betrayal. Considering that a safe person is someone who can be confronted, we explore the important roles of external advocacy, such as interventions, therapists, or community support, in situations where self-advocacy is not effective. While finding e…
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Healing from Patterns of Sexual Betrayal in Christ's Light - with Jeni Brockbank - Episode 262
41:08
In this episode we welcome our guest, Jeni Brockbank, to discuss her book 'Healing in Christ's Light,' which merges principles of therapy with Christian faith to help readers navigate their recovery journey. Join us as we cover the importance of boundaries, self-discovery, and the integration of faith in the healing process. Jenny emphasizes that h…
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Healing from Patterns of Sexual Betrayal in Christ’s Light - with Jeni Brockbank - Episode 262
41:08
In this episode we welcome our guest, Jeni Brockbank, to discuss her book 'Healing in Christ's Light,' which merges principles of therapy with Christian faith to help readers navigate their recovery journey. Join us as we cover the importance of boundaries, self-discovery, and the integration of faith in the healing process. Jenny emphasizes that h…
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Betrayal trauma can leave the betrayed partner feeling isolated with mountains of self-doubt. Learning to find your voice and advocate for your needs is critical for healing. In this episode we discuss the importance of using your voice to express your needs, especially if the betraying partner is not actively working on their recovery. Oftentimes …
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Every relationship has a power dynamic, whether it be equal or an uneven split. Focusing on empathy, generosity, and mutual respect are the keys to balanced relationships. In this episode we welcome Bonnie Young, a licensed marriage and family therapist, to discuss power dynamics in relationships. Through Bonnie's research and clinical practice, sh…
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When we think of dishonesty in relationships, we often immediately think of the big, life-changing moments such as betrayal. But even very small instances of dishonesty, seemingly harmless, can accumulate and eventually harm the relationship. In this episode we discuss how not being completely truthful about our needs and wants can lead to a lack o…
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How many of you have the exact life that you mapped out when you were younger? The perfect spouse, perfect children, perfect life, where everyone does exactly what you want them to? It’s pretty fair to say that how life plays out is vastly different than what we picture in our heads, especially considering that the people in our lives get to choose…
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In this episode, we welcome Lisa Stoddard Reeves to discuss the complex aspects of forgiveness in relationships, particularly within Christian contexts. Lisa highlights the potential harms of oversimplifying forgiveness, especially in cases of significant betrayals. She examines the different dimensions and types of forgiveness — including extendin…
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What do you think of when you think of a polygraph test? Do you think of a gimmick you’ve seen on TV, or do you think of a reliable truth-telling device? In this episode we welcome Jared Rockwood, a polygraph examiner with extensive experience and training, to discuss the role of polygraph tests in rebuilding trust after betrayal. Jared explains th…
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Do you ever wonder if it’s necessary to praise someone for a basic action you feel they should automatically be doing? In this episode we have a nuanced discussion about the dynamics between being supportive and appreciative within a relationship, especially when partners start contributing to the relationship after a period of not doing so. We exa…
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Trauma responses can alter how we see ourselves, our relationships, and the world. In this episode we focus on managing betrayal trauma and its impact on our self-perception of goodness. While this can be affected through other traumas, betrayal uniquely affects our core identity and sense of safety. Join us as we discuss the importance of boundari…
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