The Fear Of Fainting Goats

Bliss and Drumming: The Slow Enlightenment of the Hard Rock Drummer

From the blog www.blissanddrumming.com, read by Clementine. *** Fear is such a funny thing. I don’t mean funny-strange. I mean funny- ha-ha. When I am in a hole, I forget that I have tools to get myself out of the wallowing. I guess that’s one definition of being in a hole, that you forget that you are actually able to crawl out. When I remember that I have all the power to change things, that is the first thing that makes me laugh. Then, what is really funny is when I let fear in. I invite it in, let it fill me up. I don’t tell myself a story about it, I just feel the sensation of it. First, my chest feels heavy, like I can’t breathe right. My limbs get heavy, and my whole body feels weighted down as if something is preventing me from moving. When I feel this way, I see that the way my body reacts in fear is just like a mouse, like a rodent, or like one of those fainting goats. I just go stock still, weighted with fear. The thought is a little funny. Then, I bring the fear into the mind, and think of the thing I’m afraid of, and follow it out to the farthest conclusion. When I follow any fear out to the very worst scenario, the final conclusion is always the same: “And then I will die.”