In the 25+ years Janet Lansbury has worked with children and parents, she's learned a lot. She's here to share it with you. Each episode of Unruffled addresses a reader's parenting issue through the lens of Janet's respectful parenting approach, consistently offering a perspective shift that ultimately frees parents of the need for scripts, strategies, tricks, and tactics. Janet is a parenting author and consultant whose website (JanetLansbury.com) is visited by millions of readers annually. ...
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The Nurturing Parent: Respectful Parenting, Gentle Parenting, Toddler Behavior, Big Feelings, Regulate Emotions
Parenting Coach Lisa Sigurgeirson E.C.E. & Mom of Two Sareena Jimenez
Less Yelling, More Connecting; Enjoy your kids through nurturing parenting. Are you constantly worried about messing up your kids? Do you wish your kids would just listen to you? Do you wish you felt confident that you were handling your kid's BIG feelings in the best possible ways? Do you wish you could feel more present and connected with your little ones? In this podcast you will learn simple, easy-to-implement communication tools that will build your confidence as a parent, help you avoi ...
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Jen Lumanlan always thought infancy would be the hardest part of parenting. Now she has a toddler and finds a whole new set of tools are needed, there are hundreds of books to read, and academic research to uncover that would otherwise never see the light of day. Join her on her journey to get a Masters in Psychology focusing on Child Development, as she researches topics of interest to parents of toddlers and preschoolers from all angles, and suggests tools parents can use to help kids thri ...
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Welcome back to Your Parenting Mojo! Today, we’re diving into a topic that many parents may face but rarely talk about openly: navigating menopause while raising young kids. If you’ve been wondering how to balance parenting with the changes menopause brings, this episode is for you. In our first interview on Menstrual Cycle Awareness, we explored h…
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Does respectful parenting work? How does it look as our kids get older and more independent? Does our approach to relationship building change and if so, how? Will our early efforts pay off? In response to a listener's questions, Janet discusses the challenges, rewards, and surprises she's experiencing as her three babies have become adults. She sh…
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What do we do if we know our kids can practice a new skill, and yet they don't or won't? Three families reach out to Janet with concerns about their children's developmental progress. In one case, a 12-month-old doesn't seem interested in crawling, and the parent has been advised to try to make this happen. A second parent expresses her dismay ("I …
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In this encore episode, early childhood education luminary Rae Pica joins Janet to share her expertise about how children really learn and to debunk some common parenting myths that can impede a child’s natural development. Rae has dedicated herself to the mission of developing and educating the whole child. She is the author of 20 books, a popular…
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In our last conversation with Dr. Lisa Feldman Barrett [Where emotions come from (and why it matters) Part 1] a couple of weeks ago we looked at her theory of where emotions originate. This has important implications for things like: How our 'body budgets' affect our feelings How we make meaning from our feelings so our internal experience makes se…
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The US Surgeon General warns that parents today are feeling increasingly stressed and burnt out. Obviously, this is unhealthy for us and for our children. Several societal factors are thought to contribute to this issue. The good news is that one of them is in our power to control: Intensive Parenting. Sociologists describe intensive parenting (in …
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A 7-year-old has been behaving rudely toward his parents by giving them "attitude" and resisting when they give him directions. He says rebellious things, reacts strongly to minor disappointments, and even gets physically aggressive. The mom writes: "I feel at a loss for how to correct this perceived defiance...We're at a new low for us. It's start…
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Have you ever wondered where our emotions come from? Do you think that if you look at a person’s face, you can have a pretty good idea of how they’re feeling? But at the same time, do your child’s feelings seem mysterious to you, like you can’t figure them out? Listener Akiko introduced me to Dr. Lisa Feldman Barrett's theory of where our emotions …
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Parenting is a tough job and, if you're like many of us, navigating effective discipline is the most challenging part of it. We need clarity! For this reason, many have appreciated Janet's recent episode: "Strict is Loving". You've also had questions—lots of questions—in regard to walking (what can seem to be) the fine line between too strict and t…
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I know it can be really (really) difficult to bridge the gap between being the kind of parent we want to be, and the kind of parent we're able to be in the moments when our kids do things we find difficult. We might know that we want our kids to receive a message of unconditional love and acceptance, but when they do something like hitting their si…
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Progress not perfection… Be thankful for what you have… It's okay not to win… Embrace differences... Follow your own path... It's okay to cry... We all have life lessons that we hope to instill in our kids. Many of you shared yours with Janet on Facebook recently. What are the most effective ways to teach these lessons? As with all aspects of paren…
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224: How to heal your Mom Rage
1:06:02
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There are several books available on mom rage by now. They tend to follow a predictable formula: a journalist interviews a bunch of parents and makes sweeping pronouncements about how anger-inducing it is to be a Mom, interspersed with anecdotes about terrible things they’ve said and done to their children. They usually end with a call for free chi…
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Trauma survivor Elisabeth Corey returns to ‘Unruffled’ to share healing insights she's gained from her intense struggles as a parent of twins. The emotional reactions our kids stir up in us can take us by surprise. Worse, they can keep us feeling stuck repeating dynamics with our kids that seem to be driving us apart. We often know how we "should" …
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Q&A#6: Am I damaging my child?
1:00:55
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Today's episode comes from listener who submitted an emotional voicemail on the Ask Jen a Question button on the Your Parenting Mojo homepage, which boils down to: Am I damaging my child? The messages you can leave are limited to two minutes in length, so we get just a taste of what the parent is struggling with: a difficult relationship with their…
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Janet's "all feelings allowed" approach to parenting is sometimes misconstrued as permissive, passive, lax on boundaries. But as Janet clarifies in this episode, the exact opposite is true! She describes how acquiescing to our kids' whims and demands, giving them multiple chances to comply with our directions, or making it our job to console them w…
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I know that when you start using new parenting tools, things don't always go according to plan. Your kids don't say what you think they will, or maybe you perceive that their behavior is just kind of crappy, or maybe your partner isn't on board with your ideas. In this episode I address what to do about all of these challenges, as well as how to us…
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A mom fears that her gentle, respectful approach to her toddler's feelings and behaviors is too permissive and isn't teaching her to treat others with kindness and respect. She says she’s been following Janet’s approach from the beginning, but when her daughter kicks and screams and generally melts down, she can't help but question if simply acting…
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Janet consults with a single mom who is alarmed by her toddler's strong reactions and aggressive behavior. She seems easily and almost constantly upset—hits, pushes, and bites her mother and brother—and won't be consoled. "When she is crying for a little while because of me taking something away, I console her and say, 'I know you didn't want me to…
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222: How to cultivate Menstrual Cycle Awareness with The Red School
1:00:33
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This episode was...unplanned. :-) A couple of months ago I interviewed Dr. Louise Newson on the topic of menopause. Dr. Newson is a medical doctor and focused very heavily on Hormone Replacement Therapy as a treatment that everyone who menstruates should at least consider, and I knew I wanted to do an episode with someone who doesn't hold that beli…
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Starting a new school, going back to school, or starting daycare is one of the most challenging transitions for our kids —and us—at this early stage of their lives. It means a new routine, new caregivers and friends, and many unknowns. It’s normal for both parent and child to feel some trepidation, and it’s rare that our child will accept all the c…
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221: How to advocate for the schools our children deserve with Allyson Criner Brown & Cassie Gardener Manjikian
1:11:06
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How comfortable do you feel speaking up about something your child’s school needs? Have you noticed that some parents seem to feel more comfortable speaking up than others? Have you ever noticed that sometimes rules and policies in school don’t seem to be applied evenly to all students, while squeaky wheels who raise issues that concern them and th…
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When our kids' behavior seems negative or inappropriate, we know we should disallow it. But what if the behavior continues? Or goes from bad to worse? What is our child needing from us or telling us that we're missing? There's often a simple, yet easy to overlook, answer. In this episode, Janet responds to notes from parents who have become alarmed…
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220: Nutritious movement for your child – and you!
1:02:52
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A few months ago my daughter had a routine checkup at the doctor, who asked how much screen time she gets in a day (which is more than typical recommendations but way less time than children spend sitting in school). The doctor told her (but really she told me): “You should get more exercise.” Carys isn’t a team sports kind of person. She doesn’t l…
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When we're concerned about our kids' behavior, their stress and difficult moods, a lack of motivation, or an overall sense that we're not in harmony with them — the solution almost certainly comes down to "less." In this episode, Janet is joined by Kim John Payne, M.ED., renowned family consultant, lecturer, and author of the seminal parenting guid…
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What your child is learning in school isn’t enough The things your child is learning in school are not the things that are most likely to lead to their success in the future. Who could have predicted the shifts we’ve seen since Chat GPT-3 was released to the public in November 2022? While AI still has its bugs, it won’t be long before these bugs ar…
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