Assertive gets conflated with bratting, demanding, and/or unsubmissive-like behavior. And we fundamentally disagree, so let’s talk about it. In this episode: All of our Etsy shops are on sale thru the rest of the... The post Assertive Submissives appeared first on Loving BDSM.

A newish kinkster live in an area with a local kink community they’re not comfortable being part of and driving to another area isn’t an option. Here’s the question: What do I do when... The post Q&A: How Do I Handle Having a Bad Local Community? appeared first on Loving BDSM.

We didn’t know where this would go before we started other than saying, “Yes, Doms need to communicate effectively, too.” (Obviously.) JB shares his experiences as a Dom who has struggled to communicate in... The post Dominants and Communication appeared first on Loving BDSM.

In this week’s episode, a submissive wants to bring D/s out of the bedroom, but their Dom doesn’t seem motivated to try. Here’s the question: My husband (33m) and I (34f) have been together... The post Q&A: How Can I Motivate My Dom to Bring D/s Out of the Bedroom? appeared first on Loving BDSM.

You’ve probably heard of new relationship energy (NRE) but we’re more interested in the idea of old relationship energy. So let’s talk about it. In this episode We’re celebrating the Kinkery’s 4th anniversary with... The post Old Relationship Energy in Power Exchange appeared first on Loving BDSM.

We’re back and coming in hot with a BDSM Reddit response/reaction episode! In this episode: This week’s episode is sponsored by Flure, a welcome, inclusive, and kink-friendly dating app. There’s no episode next Monday.... The post BDSM Reddit Response appeared first on Loving BDSM.

In this week’s episode, a kinky couple has gone through a few shifts in their relationship and now things are a little off. Can they go back to normal? Here’s the question: My sub... The post Q&A: Can We Go Back to Normal? appeared first on Loving BDSM.

This week, we talk about the thing that anyone who’s ever had a D/s relationship knows…life will definitely interfere with your power exchange. In this episode, we talk about some of the most common... The post When Life Interferes with Your Power Exchange | Back to Basics Series appeared first on Loving BDSM.…

A submissive isn’t having a good time during scenes with their nervous Domme — and is getting more and more frustrated. Here’s the question: Hello! So I’m in a relationship with a woman who... The post Q&A: How Do I Enjoy Scenes with a Nervous Domme? appeared first on Loving BDSM.

We’ve been getting the same type of question recently…Where do I find a Dom? How do I find a submissive? So let’s talk about it this week. In this episode: Thanks to Flure for... The post Where to Find a Dominant or Submissive Partner | Back to Basics Series appeared first on Loving BDSM.

A kinkster wants to take things further with their partner – who isn’t interested in being a submissive. Here’s the question: My wife and I have been married for almost 20 years. We have... The post Q&A: Is It Okay to Enjoy Our Power Dynamic Without Labeling It? appeared first on Loving BDSM.

You’ve figured out you’re kinky, met a partner (or talked to your current partner), and negotiated a power exchange. Yay! And also…there are a few challenges to be aware of as you navigate your... The post What to Watch Out for in New D/s Relationships | Back to Basics Series appeared first on Loving BDSM.…

This week, we’re answering a question from a submissive who wants to get back to a more primal, CNC, sadomasochistic way of playing with their partner but old memories from another relationship are holding... The post Q&A: How Do I Move Past Bad Memories to Enjoy Old Kinks? appeared first on Loving BDSM.…

In the next episode of our Back to Basics series, we’re discussing consent in D/s relationships. In this episode: Get the Kink Bundle while it’s available! Check out the Loving BDSM Etsy shop. This... The post Consent in D/s Relationships | Back to Basics appeared first on Loving BDSM.

This week, a kinkster wants to get back into their local community but wants to avoid someone who seems to be an unsafe kinkster. Note: Content warning for brief mention of suicide, abusive behavior,... The post Q&A: Can I Avoid an Active Member in My Local Community? appeared first on Loving BDSM.

We’re starting a new “back to basics” series for power exchange. The topics may be things we’ve talked about in the past, but with 400+ episodes, it’s probably been a while since we talked... The post Starting a New D/s Relationship | Back to Basics appeared first on Loving BDSM.

This week, a Daddy Dom worries that they aren’t being a good Dom because they promise fuckery at the end of the day and then change their mind. Here’s the question: Am I unreliable... The post Q&A: Am I an Unreliable Dominant? appeared first on Loving BDSM.

We asked for your questions over at that handle we hate on Instagram, and you delivered! In this episode: The Kinkery is having a sale through Labor Day! JB’s vanilla Etsy shop “sponsored” us,... The post Kinky Q&A appeared first on Loving BDSM.

We’re a bit late to our own party, but we’re celebrating our 9th podcast anniversary! We’re sharing things we’ve learned, discovered, and figured out about ourselves and our power exchange relationship after nine years... The post Things We’ve Learned About Power Exchange in Nine Years of Podcasting appeared first on Loving BDSM.…

This week, a kinkster is figuring out their switchy self but isn’t sure how to navigate wanting different things in different ways than their partner. Here’s the question: My husband and I have been... The post Q&A: Can We Be Switches in Different Ways and Still Have a Good D/s Relationship? appeared first on Loving BDSM.…

With great power comes great responsibility…or something like that. The weight of the responsibility a Dom carries can sometimes feel like pressure, so let’s talk about it. But it’s worth noting that the power... The post The Pressures and Privileges of Dominance appeared first on Loving BDSM.

After life got in the way, this kinky couple is ready to get back to their fuckery – including free use – but the Dominant partner isn’t initiating, even after plenty of communication. Here’s... The post Q&A: How Can My Dom Become Comfortable Initiating Free Use? appeared first on Loving BDSM.

Anyone and everyone can experience imposter syndrome. While it’s most common in professional settings, it’s definitely possible in personal situations – like your kink life. In this episode: The Kinkery exists! What is imposter... The post Imposter Syndrome in Power Exchange and Kink appeared first on Loving BDSM.…

We’re willing to bet that this question comes up more than some Dominants are willing to admit. Here’s the full question: What should you do if you’re a dom who doesn’t want to take... The post Q&A: What If a Dom Doesn’t Always Want to Lead? appeared first on Loving BDSM.

This week, we react/respond to BDSM questions shared on the kinky side of Reddit. In this episode: Oh yeah, Kayla has a vanilla Etsy shop that’s book-themed. If you’re into that kind of thing.... The post BDSM Reddit Response appeared first on Loving BDSM.

A kinkster wants to know when the right time is to take things from dating apps or Fetlife to in person. Here’s the question: How do I know when to move from a dating... The post Q&A: When is the Right Time to Meet in Real Life? appeared first on Loving BDSM.

This week, we’re letting Therapy Jeff tell us what to talk about – by answering several “cute and spicy” relationship questions he posted about on Instagram (and probably TikTok too). In this episode: There’s... The post Answering Cute and Spicy Questions appeared first on Loving BDSM.

A submissive has gone through a lot with their Dominant partner with consent violations, a broken D/s agreement, and just being made to feel awful. And they want to know if it’s possible to... The post Q&A: How Do I Trust My Dom Again? appeared first on Loving BDSM.

A moment when Kayla admitted wrongdoing has us thinking about the concept of “radical honesty” which potentially has a deeper meaning for kinksters in general. In this episode Register for the free and online... The post Radical Honesty in Power Exchange appeared first on Loving BDSM.

A submissive who was once the Dominant in their power exchange wants to add their Dom energy back to the dynamic but isn’t sure how to talk to their partner about it. Here’s the... The post Q&A: How Do I Tell My Partner I Want to Switch? appeared first on Loving BDSM.

External (extrinsic) motivation is about doing something because of outside expectations – your partner set a task, you were asked to do something, etc. It might be something you know needs to be done,... The post Needing External Motivation in Power Exchange appeared first on Loving BDSM.

We’ve experienced “task creep” – the act of taking on tasks/routines that weren’t specifically negotiated. Thankfully for us, we figured it out quickly and worked it out in a quick conversation. But like job... The post Task Creep in Power Exchange appeared first on Loving BDSM.

We don’t know how we’ve made it to 400 full-length episodes, either, but here we are! We didn’t get a lot of questions for this one, so we just sort of chatted until we... The post Celebrating 400 Episodes with Kinky Q&A appeared first on Loving BDSM.

We’re one week away from our 400th episode, so we’re starting the celebration early with a BDSM Reddit response episode! In this episode: Ask your questions for our Monday episodes. We’re celebrating 10,000 subscribers... The post BDSM Reddit Response appeared first on Loving BDSM.

Most kinksters aren’t communicating too much, but some of us (like Kayla) could be, so let’s talk about it. In this episode: We need your questions for our Monday episodes. The most common issue... The post Over Communication in Power Exchange appeared first on Loving BDSM.

A submissive has a recurring issue about aftercare with their Dominant partner and wants to know: are they the problem or is it me? Here’s the question: I’ve been dating a dom for about... The post Q&A: Is My Dom the Problem or Am I? appeared first on Loving BDSM.

We joke about Kayla’s control issues, but they’re definitely a thing we both have to navigate in our power exchange. In this episode: We joke about Kayla’s control issues all the time. The stereotype... The post Submission With Control Issues appeared first on Loving BDSM.

This week, a submissive is ready to get back to their previous kink life but their partner might not be as ready. Here’s the question: I have a question with no easy answer. I... The post Q&A: How Do We Get Our Kink Life Back After Having a Baby? appeared first on Loving BDSM.

Hair pulling inspired this week’s episode – because it was a grounding and/or centering moment in kink. So let’s talk about it. In this episode: Friday night live stream on May 17 starting at... The post What Grounds or Centers You in Kink? appeared first on Loving BDSM.

A submissive needs more commands and strictness from their Dominant to feel the power exchange, but they’re not getting what they need. Here’s the question: My kind sadist seems to be under the impression... The post Q&A: How Do I Help My Dom Act More Commanding? appeared first on Loving BDSM.

Each partner has responsibilities to the other, to yourselves, and to the power exchange relationship. We’ve talked about this in the distant past, but it’s worth discussing again. In this episode: This week’s episode... The post Responsibilities to Your Power Exchange appeared first on Loving BDSM.

This week, a kinkster asks if it’s time to let their kinky relationship go. Here’s the question: My BDSM relationship is disintegrating. I don’t know what to do. Other than let him go and... The post Q&A: Should I Just Let My BDSM Relationship End? appeared first on Loving BDSM.

This week we answer relationship questions that are supposed to make us feel “warm and fuzzy.” In this episode: Our Wednesday live streams are changing times starting May 8 from 12pm ET to 7pm... The post Answering Feel Good Relationship Questions appeared first on Loving BDSM.

This week, a submissive has been assigned the task of coming up with ideas for punishments and rewards in their new D/s relationship, and they’re not what to put on their list. Here’s the... The post Q&A: What Make Good Punishments and Rewards? appeared first on Loving BDSM.

If Kayla Rants™ are one of your kinks, our BDSM Reddit episodes are made for you. In this week’s Reddit response, we talk about spanking “ugly” butts, learning to be a Dominant, soft limit... The post BDSM Reddit Response appeared first on Loving BDSM.

This week’s question is something both of us have dealt with – and there aren’t any easy answers. Here’s the question: How do you handle family members and/or friends who disagree with your kink... The post Q&A: What Do I When People Reject Me For Being Kinky? appeared first on Loving BDSM.

We didn’t have it in us to focus on a single topic, so this is a bonus section episode – rambly, pointless, and chaotic (on purpose!). If you prefer a topic-based discussion, feel free... The post A Bonus Section Episode appeared first on Loving BDSM.

A kinkster feels like they’re the only monogamous person in their local kink community, and it’s really bothering them. Here’s the question: I recently got involved with a local kink community, although I’ve been... The post Q&A: Are Most Kinky People Also Non-Monogamous? appeared first on Loving BDSM.…

This week’s topic came straight from a recent Patreon live stream where we were asked about how to be confident in a power exchange dynamic and within your kink identity. Here are our thoughts.... The post Building Confidence in D/s and Your Kink Identity appeared first on Loving BDSM.

We are so sorry for the sound quality on this episode. We knew we had issues with the video, but we didn’t realize the mics wouldn’t be picked up when we switched cameras. The... The post Q&A: What Kinky Lingerie Options Are Available for Big Breasts? appeared first on Loving BDSM.