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Enjoying Your Blended Family

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Enjoying Your Blended Family

Randall & Scarlett Tandy

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Welcome to Enjoying Your Blended Family! We bring new episodes every Monday and Friday. Mondays are on hot topics in blended families and Fridays are all about fun ideas you can do with your blended family. This podcast is all about strengthening your blended family relationships and having more fun, giving you hope and encouragement so everyone is enjoying the journey together.
 
We're Mike and Kim Anderson. We set out on our blended family adventure over 20 years ago thinking it would be a cinch…but quickly found out how complicated things can be. Following a painful co-parenting battle with an Ex, we found ourselves disconnected and teetering on the brink of divorce. Then we got to work discovering how to overcome all our challenges and guide our family to thrive. If you're a stepmom or stepdad frustrated with how challenging it is to be a step-parent. Or you're a ...
 
A blended family is such an important topic because it’s dealing with so many lives, not just that of you and your spouse. You have your kids and your spouses kids of course, but you also have the other sets of parents to contend with (if there is shared custody). With so many cooks in the kitchen, it can make sanity hard to come by on some days. We can lose our way in the midst of chaos, jealousy, insecurity, frustration, anger, confusion, miscommunication, and power struggles. This podcast ...
 
Biblical Solutions for High Achieving Stepmoms Are you tired of all the double standards for Stepmoms? Do you find yourself searching for answers on the internet on how to deal with your exhaustion from all the bio-mama drama? Are you anxious and confused about your self-worth? Because your reality isn't matching up with your expectations and self-perception? You know, it's like you're two different women, depending on whether you're in stepmom mode. Is your biggest fear that your stepfamily ...
 
The Blended Family Podcast is a weekly show with a strong focus on strategies and methods to help your family thrive. Blended Families face many difficulties and challenges which can sometimes drive families apart. The goal of this podcast is is to help your family grow together through these challenges and create the peaceful and loving home you desire. Your host, Melissa, understands these struggles because she has a blended family of her own. When you listen to this podcast, you will see ...
 
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show series
 
We are talking about intimacy and the “S” word in this episode. It’s so important as a married couple to make sure you make this a priority in your marriage. When you do, you stay better connected with each other. When you’re better connected, you are better parents for your kids. And besides, it’s just a fun thing married couples get to do. Why no…
 
Stepfamily Holiday Stress Got You Anxious? You're not alone, Stepmama! In today's episode, grab your journals, planners, and coffee to sit down and take some time to prepare before you find yourself entangled in the holiday frenzy that all too often can steal your joy. 5 Stepmom Strategies to Reduce Anxiety and Show Up Authentically You #1 Be curio…
 
Isn't it fun to reminisce sometimes? We love spending time remembering the journey with our family. It's great to recall some of those funny moments in our history. And it's meaningful when we recount the tough seasons we've endured together as well. In celebration of our 150th episode, we thought we'd let you listen in to our family reminisce over…
 
The Blessings Of A Blended Family are REAL! Just in time for Thanksgiving, we explore the many positives of blended family life. It may seem that it's hard AF, and yes, while that may be true, it's also true that there's a lot of good as well, for everyone. Join us in a discussion of the power of focusing on gratitude versus dwelling on the negativ…
 
Growing up in an unstable blended home with 7 stepmoms and 11 marriages between his parents left Fred Von Canon determined to change his legacy. Listen to his conversation with Ron Deal as he and his wife Anita describe their passion and commitment toward creating a godly home in their own blended family. Show Notes and Resources FamilyLife Blended…
 
If you’re a single parent or dating one, here’s a dating myth to avoid.Our culture tries to convince us that personal happiness is at the center of life. For example, the divorce culture says, If I’m not happy in my marriage why should I have to stay? and single parents sometimes think, If I’m in love and happy, my kids will be happy, too. But ther…
 
You know, sometimes the best thing you can do with the Bible, is live it.Ask yourself as you listen to Colossians 3 how to live out these words today in your own home. clothe yourselves for compassion, perhaps for a friend. Kindness, in a relationship. Gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another. Forgive as the Lord forgav…
 
So, what do you think, do we grieve well?First, no, we don’t grieve well as a society. It’s un-American to sit in our sorrow. And second, we think we have dealt with the past. That’s one reason people marry quickly again after a divorce or being widowed only to discover that grief is waiting for them on the other side of the wedding and the kids ar…
 
Were there any rituals at your wedding?Many modern stepfamily weddings include the Blending of the Family Sands ceremony in which each adult and child pours a vase of sand into a larger vase signifying the new family. The sand symbolizes the couple's journey into love, but it’s just the beginning for the kids and the entire family. The ceremony doe…
 
When the road gets long, just keep going.It’s not true for all but some stepfamilies tell me they feel like Moses and the Israelites leaving Egypt for the Promised Land. They left something horrible but it's taking longer to get there than they thought. Besides, they’re carrying baggage and when children slow their progress, they wonder if they sho…
 
Mo Money, Mo Problems! (ok, sorry for the Biggie reference) Money can be another factor that can suck the joy out of the holidays. The holidays can have a way of turning our lives into a money pit. This is the second part in our Enjoying the Holidays episodes. Instead of turning the whole next year into a financial recovery period, there are other …
 
Never satisfied are the eyes of man.When Proverbs 27 in the Bible says the eyes of people are never satisfied, it is warning us against being hungry for more wealth. But it’s not just wealth you’ll want more of. You’ll want your spouse to be more like your friend’s spouse. Of course, you don’t know what life is really like on the inside. This could…
 
How many days have you gotten out of bed, and as your feet hit the floor, you're thinking of the things that you need to do and how full the day is and how there may not be enough time and the anxiety that you might be feeling over what's going on that day, especially when it has something to do with step kids???!!! Actually, all these things happe…
 
Ever had someone thankful for you?Well, I have. And it feels good. And what if they thanked God for you? That really feels good because they see in some eternal sense that God has brought a blessing to them through you. In the Bible Paul expressed thanksgiving to God for his spiritual family because he held them close in his heart, Philippians says…
 
Do you want a good marriage? Start by doing some math.Marital researcher John Gottman found that healthy long-term couple relationships maintain a 5 to 1 ratio of positives to negatives. In other words, they make five deposits for every one withdrawal. For every act of selfishness, there is one act of kindness and sacrifice. You know, no one puts m…
 
Most families have some unwritten codes of conduct and you better abide by them.We all know the unwritten rules and most of us abide by them. You don’t talk about dad’s bathroom habits or post pictures of mom’s morning hair. But what if a child, an inside man if you will, is telling your secrets to their other home and it’s hurting your relationshi…
 
Suggest a Topic or Ask a Question Would you like us to discuss something specific or answer your question on the show? Let us know! We've made it easy. Just click here: https://www.mikeandkimcoaching.com/share Ready for some extra support? We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help. You can connect with us for a …
 
You want to be a blessing to your children, right? Well here’s how.According to Proverbs 20:7, Walking with integrity blesses our children. When we walk with God we teach our children a wisdom that informs their life. But catch this. Even in a difficult situation with one of your kids like if a child is rebelling, or stress is fracturing your famil…
 
We are entering into the holiday season. This is the first episode out of three that we are focusing on keeping our joy throughout the holidays. It is so easy to let the busyness of the holidays and the stress steal our joy. We talk about real expectations in this episode. It’s easy to have high expectations or even false expectations for our blend…
 
Moving between homes is stressful for kids. One antidote is a smooth transition.A smooth transition helps kids feel safe to be themselves. They’re not pawns between waring nations. "I try to have a good attitude, said Cindy, but I can’t help but come unglued if my ex-husband looks at me wrong. Ah, therein lies part of the problem. Cindy makes the t…
 
Backyard games that can be played in the front yard, side yard, or any yard, it just sounds more appropriate to call them backyard games. We talk about 9 outside games that you can use over the holidays with your family that will create some fun and laughs. Use these to pull everyone off the couch and get them out of their rooms so you can grow you…
 
Discerning God's will in a noisy world requires intentionality. Especially right now, as the holiday seasons gears up, it's time for a strategy that's as simple as A, B, C, D, & E! In today's episode, Jen reboots episode #65 where Bill and Jen share strategies that will work for you and your marriage so you can not only find the quiet, but begin to…
 
A French poet once said, A brother is a friend given by nature. Well, what if the brother was given by marriage?Millions of Americans have a half-sibling or stepsibling and like full-siblings, the ties that bind vary from close to distant. But parents and stepparents can foster stronger bonds between half and stepsiblings by helping kids come toget…
 
No, Ron, I would never ask the kids to choose between us.Close to 40% of kids in the U.S. live between separated or divorced parents and generally those parents know not to ask their child to choose between them. You would never do that, right? But, inadvertently, you might bewhen you talk out loud about between home disagreements, invade the other…
 
On his way out the door, he looked me in the eye and said, Take care of your marriage.This friend of mine had come to FamilyLife for a series of meetings. He’s well aware that I’m a family author, conference speaker, and a licensed marriage and family therapist with nearly three decades of experience, but still he said to me, Take care of your marr…
 
We all want to enjoy the holiday season with our family — without experiencing tension, disappointment or conflict. Managing all the complexities of blended family life can be overwhelming around the holidays. You're merging two family cultures with different ideas about how the holiday season should look… …kids might be looking forward to experien…
 
There are at least two sides to every conflict, and when it's between divorced or separated parents, sparks can fly. As a special bonus drop, Jen welcomes co-parenting experts Diane Dierks and Rick Voyles. On Co-Parent Dilemmas, listeners ask questions like these: What do you do when the other parent won't be flexible with the parenting schedule? H…
 
“We’re redistributing all the gifts this year!” (just kidding, seriously) The holidays can be a time of a lot of blended family drama, that’s why we had to make a part 2. We answer 3 more popular blended family questions that can cause a lot of drama around the holidays. This gives you more ideas on ways to make your holidays go a lot smoother in y…
 
“I want to ride my bicycle, I want to ride my bike, I want to ride my bicycle, I want to ride it where I like” (can you guess the band this song lyric came from?) That’s right, we are taking an old school thing and bringing it back with a few twists and turns (ha, ha, bike humor). Here are some fun ideas you can use to create cool opportunities for…
 
Does Divorce Ruin Your Stepfamily Holiday Celebrations? The Top 3 Answers Stepmoms Need Before Thanksgiving & Christmas In today's episode, Tess, Stephanie, and Mikaela ask top questions Stepmoms ask regarding the holiday season. Are you dealing with jealousy among your stepkids and biological children? Is the comparison over gifts given among them…
 
Resources for this Simple Step Episode 41. Are You Unintentionally Putting Your Kids in the Middle? Suggest a Topic or Ask a Question Would you like us to discuss something specific or answer your question on the show? Let us know! We've made it easy. Just click here: https://www.mikeandkimcoaching.com/share Ready for some extra support? We all nee…
 
Surely nobody has any holiday drama at their house, right?!? We know all too well that’s not true in a blended family. Sometimes it seems like we have more than our fair share of holiday drama. In this episode, we answer 3 typical holiday drama questions that we get from blended families. We share what we have learned over the years and provide a f…
 
What children need to feel safe in your blended family. On this episode of Blended Life it's all about the children and what they need to feel safe in your home. When a child(ren) feels safe, the family unit feels more natural and blended. This requires taking inventory of how you, the adult, are promoting a culture of safety amongst the children i…
 
As a single parent, it's natural to yearn for a marriage partner who will love you AND your kids unconditionally. But is that realistic? Listen to Ron Deal's conversation with Sabrina McDonald about dating, remarriage, and stepfamily life after widowhood, and the valuable lessons she's learned. Show Notes and Resources Sabrina McDonald Get a copy o…
 
“FORE!!!” Okay, even if you’re not a fan of golf, there are so many things you can do with golf balls to create some really fun opportunities with your family. We give you some out-of-the-box ideas all the way from going out, to staying at home and creating something really cool. These ideas are sure to get the guys' attention in your family and yo…
 
WOOOHOOOOO!!!! 100TH EPISODE TODAY! Exciting!!! Do you want to gain ideas on how you can build trust, garner respect, and raise your stepkids aligned with God's Principles? Listen in to a live coaching episode I did with Holly where we come up with strategies to elevate respect in the home. Holly uses the knowledge she has about her stepkids to gen…
 
Isn't there just something fun and exciting about the Holidays? It seems to be a time of excitement and high hopes for family "togetherness". You probably want to plan fun, festive activities so that you're able to enjoy memorable moments with your kids. But to make all that fun happen, you might need to negotiate a few logistics with your former s…
 
“All we need is love, love. Love is all we need.” (any Beatles Fans?) There can be a lot of blended family drama, and most of the time, leading with love can be the last thing on our minds. Anger, frustration, tears and all kinds of other emotions like to jump out first. Jesus shows us a different way we can handle situations that will give us grea…
 
What’s Halloween without a little theme? We share 4 things that can spice up your Halloween, or give you an alternative to the holiday. This can give your blended family a lot of fun and can create a really cool and special night for everyone. There is also a breakdown of what this can look like, where you can either run with the idea or get your c…
 
Do you know what the weapon is, woman of God? It's Prayer! Prayer is a powerful weapon – the most powerful weapon in your Stepmama arsenal. There’s a lot of talk about conspiracies, theories, and end times. Let me share with you what is NOT a conspiracy. Satan is not a conspiracy. The Devil is real. Scripture tells us he’s the most cunning of all t…
 
Resources From This Episode: Episode 36. How to Change Your "Stories" and Grow Connection with Special Guest Mark Warren Suggest a Topic or Ask a Question Would you like us to discuss something specific or answer your question on the show? Let us know! We've made it easy. Just click here: https://www.mikeandkimcoaching.com/share Ready for some extr…
 
It’s time to break the chains!!! There are all kinds of addictions that can eat away at your marriage and your entire blended family. This doesn’t have to be your story anymore. There are ways to overcome these addictions, break those chains, and see your family restored. Mike and Shannon, from Addictive Marriage, join us in this episode as they sh…
 
Pornography is everywhere. It's quickly becoming the leading sex educator of our kids. Listen to Ron Deal's conversation with Brian Goins and Gayla Grace about the new documentary series "Brain, Heart, World" to learn how to address this important topic with your family. Show Notes and Resources Access the "Brain, Heart, World" free video series. G…
 
“I’m not good with that romance stuff.” Don’t worry, Josie’s got you covered and she makes it easy. Josie, from Romance Enhanced, joins us on this Fun Friday to share how she turned a passion into a great benefit for you and your loved one. She is taking date nights and making them fun and easy for you. All the way from a romantic date in a box tha…
 
In today's episode, find out how you can respond to the triggers that create emotional numbness you feel as a woman in a stepfamily. There are so many things that can happen that bring you to the brink of wanting to end it all. Yet, God says, I have called you to this! Remember, you have an arch enemy who is literally hell-bent on destroying your f…
 
Have you ever felt like you got stuck in a difficult conversation before it even got started? You know that feeling — like this is going downhill fast and you just don't know how it got so heated and emotionally-charged so fast. We've experienced this kind of interaction hundreds (maybe thousands) of times over the years! Those are the moments we f…
 
When your family is organized, it brings more peace to everyone. Being organized in a blended family can be a big challenge, though. There are so many different dynamics, relationships, co-parenting, involvements, and just life in general. So what if organizing all this with everyone could be made easy? Dr. James and Ginger Dellaripa from The Famil…
 
The Power Of Step Parenting Is Real! Yes, you read that correctly! Step Parenting is a powerful thing; you affect the entire family simply in your presence alone (never mind everything else you decide to do or don't do in that role). The truth is that even if you can't see it, or don't believe it, you are harnessing a specific power no other person…
 
Do you start from the outside or the inside first? Puzzles can really bring a blended family together in a fun way. You may know the old school traditional ways of putting together a puzzle, but we share more ways you can take this idea and spice it up for some added fun. All these ideas that are shared can really allow your family to create some a…
 
Are you Frustrated and Confused by Other’s Expectations of You as a Stepmom? In today's episode, find out how to discern what God is asking you to do so you can ignore the naysayers, ditch the frustration, and understand God's expectations for you, a trusted steward of your stepkids. Hey, Stepmama, I see you. I know it's hard. I know that you're ti…
 
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